


Always Remember Your Safety Glasses, Kids!

by Miss_Haki



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (i'm not actually a science expert so please feel free to lecture me in the comments), And Magic!, Bad Writing, Beware, Biology, Botany, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader is a cool science bitch, SCIENCE!, Smut, Soul stuff, minimal angst, monster racism, not a slow burn, random side characters galore, reader and alphys are BFF's, sans isn't emo (mostly), smut chapters will have warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-03-02 15:55:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18814153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Haki/pseuds/Miss_Haki
Summary: When monsters resurface, the whole world seems to shut down. Then, as all things do, the novelty fades and the boring stuff needs to take place. Houses need to be built, jobs need to be allocated, new laws need to be put in place, and someone needs to show this cute yellow monster around the University labs.While it may not be the most important job, you're always glad to help.You're just some girl who likes plants too much, nothing cool every happens to you, right?





	1. In Which You Make a Friend™

Peace.

Serenity.

You were alone in the labs, the only sound being the analogue clock behind you. There was supposed to be a teacher hanging around somewhere, but he'd bumbled off to do something or other. You didn't mind, you were glad that at least one distraction was gone.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

You'd been trying to get this mixture right for hours, trying to get just the right mix of chemicals and acid to mimic the soil pH of a much harsher climate, but every time you seemed to mess something up. You were losing your patience, and fast too.

You took another deep breath and slowly pour the beaker of acid into the solution you'd made yesterday, waiting for the bubbles to die down before dripping the pH testing strip in. It took a few moments, but it seemed that you'd finally succeeded. 

You let out a happy squeal, setting down the strip and doing a sort of, cautiously gleeful dance (you were still in a lab, after all).

"Happy?"

This time, the squeal that left your mouth was much less happy. You gave a great gasp and spun around, spotting a stout lizard monster on the other side of the room. She also seemed a little mortified, maybe she hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Calming your racing heart and laughing slightly, still very embarrassed, you replied.

"Just this stupid experiment, it's been keeping me up for days." You gestured to the bench full of random chemicals. "Finally got the mixture right."

The monster eyed you curiously, her clawed hands wringing together in a sort of nervous habit, you guessed. She seemed to be going over something in her head, making a great decision. Finally, it looked like she had made up her mind. Sliding off of her stool, she slowly approached.

"M-may I s-see what you're d-d-doing?" She stammered. "I'm n-new to the u-university, actually. Th-the guy who w-was showing me ar-around just t-told me to sit and w-watch you."

Ah, so that's where the teacher went? You did remember him complaining about some visitor, but would he really leave them here to monitor you? You realized that you'd left the monster waiting, and she was growing large beads of sweat across the crown of her head.

"Oh! Um, yeah! You can totally take a look." You finally replied. Something like relief crossed her features before she turned to the bench. She was a little short, so you went over to get another stool so that she could get a better view. "It's not that interesting, but since John wandered off somewhere..."

"Tha-thanks! For this a-and the chair, I mean." She explained, and you gave her a bright smile. "I'm A-Alphys, b-by the way."

"(Y/N), and no problem." You replied, stepping up to the bench to clear it up a bit. The mess of pH strips and dirty beakers had piled up, and you didn't want to seem messy in front of this new student. From the side, you could see her eyes, bright and calculating, where they weren't being obscured by her thick glasses. "I've been working on getting this experiment set up. You see, the soil in Ebott is getting more and more acidic as time goes on and the climate gets warmer, so I'm trying to make a solution that'll combat the acid in soil but not run the risk of making it too alkaline in the process."

Alphys nodded along, her eyes focused on all the equipment you'd piled up on one bench.

"But, I've gotta make an acidic soil solution to combat it first, which is what all of this mess is." You finished, grabbing the large flask of acid and giving it a swirl.

"So w-what is it m-made of?" Alphys asked, then blushed. "S-sorry, biology isn't r-really my a-area of e-expertise. Ignore that q-question, it was d-dumb."

"That's fine, I'm just enjoying the audience, to be completely honest." You admitted, smiling when Alphys seemed to lose her nerves a bit. Her stammer seemed more of a speech impediment, rather than just the anxiety of meeting someone new. "If you want, you can come and give me a hand with setting up the controls?"

Alphys nodded eagerly, and you finally noticed a glaring problem.

"Did John not give you any PPE?" You asked, looking at her glove-less, safety goggle-less figure.

"P-PPE?" She said curiously.

"Y'know... safety gear?" You prompted. It seemed to finally click.

"O-oh! I'm... um... a lizard?" She finally said.

...

"Oh my god." You said, mortified. "That was so stupid of me! I'm so sorry!!"

You idiot! She was literally a lizard monster, and you were worried about chemical spills on her when she was literally... chemical proof! Oh god, this was gonna be another regret filled memory, wasn't it?

"D-don't worry!" Alphys insisted, shifting from one foot to the other urgently. She grabbed your hand, seeing that you weren't really following that whole 'don't worry' order. "Believe me, I've gotten m-much m-more offensive stuff said t-to me just _t-today!_ "

"That's even worse!" You complained, distressed. Finally, it hit you. "Oh my god... John left you here because he didn't want to give you a tour, didn't he?"

"I'd a-assume so..." She admitted a little solemnly. You huffed, squaring your shoulders a little.

"Then you'd better get ready. Because you're going on a personal, hands-on tour of the Ebott University science labs, courtesy of yours truly." You stated, jaw set with determination. "And then, once your socks have been thoroughly blown off, I'm gonna give that idiot a piece of _my_ mind."

"You r-really don't have t-to do that!!" Alphys squeaked.

"I know, but I _want_ to." You replied, watching her bright, round eyes study you from behind her ridiculously thick lenses. "This is a really diverse, open school. And I don't want you leaving with a bad impression because some idiot thinks you don't deserve to come here."

Alphys studied you for a moment longer. The wide-eyed excitement in your eyes, the frazzled mess of your hair, the disgusting mess on your once-white lab coat. She must have seen something in you at that moment, because she smiled and nodded, letting you lead her on a detailed tour of the school's science labs, filled with wild stories of your years of study and an occasional guest popping in to say hello and show what they were doing.

It was a long tour, probably too long, but by the end, the two of you had explored every inch of lab space and were already having a bit of playful banter with each-other. You'd found a few common interests in retro anime and internet memes, and you were both bi! She told you about her girlfriend, who from the pictures looked terrifying (a seven-foot-tall fish woman with flaming red hair, bulging muscles and a fucking eye patch!!!), but based on Alphys' blushing compliments, you knew not to judge a book by its cover. 

You finally ended your tour at the main lobby of the STEM building, a fancy modern room milling with students and staff and probably more cups of coffee than you could imagine.

"O-okay, my ride is w-waiting for me." She said, her smile lingering from the story you'd just told her about your first-year chem class. You pouted slightly, stuffing your hands in your pockets to find your phone. 

"At least let me get your number before you go." You said, throwing in a flirty wink as she giggled and punched in the numbers for her contact. "I'm sorry it took so long! I'm a terrible guide."

"It w-was so fun! D-don't apologize." Alphys scolded you playfully, she started towards the doors but turned back once more. "Don't actually c-cuss that professor out, p-please? I d-don't want you getting into t-t-trouble."

"It's fineee." You insisted, grinning. "If the school invited you, then I'm sure they won't be happy to hear that he treated you so badly."

Alphys rolled her eyes a bit, but she was still smiling.

"It was r-really nice m-meeting you." She finally said, and your grin melted into something more sincere.

"You too, Alphys." You said, reaching out to shake her hand. "I'll text you, you owe me an anime night, after all."

She perked up a bit, and shook your hand excitedly, then stammered something about her ride again and disappeared through the massive glass doors. You smiled to yourself again, turning on one foot and strolling back to the bio labs, ready to make some more fucking acidic soil.


	2. In Which You Save a Plant From Your Dumb New Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write this chapter three times!!! First, I hated everything about it and how it turned out. Second, I loved it and my laptop froze and I lost everything. And third, I got this. Hopefully the time I put into it was worth it lmao.
> 
> (Also i noticed that this already has a bookmark so thanks StarscreamsGirl, hope you enjoy it! uwu)

You and Alphys had become pretty close as the months passed. The two of you weren't exactly studying the same thing, but you got together at least once a week to study and watch anime at one of your dorms. You'd think that you wouldn't get a lot of work done with so many distractions, but Alphys was some sort of studying demon. She was trying to do a multitude of PhD's in just one year (nobody on the surface would hire her without proof of her scientific prowess, which was apparently not a thing Underground), so you could maybe understand her passion. Still, seeing her work put your study into perspective and kind of forced you to work harder.

On the other hand, you had to occasionally take the role of caretaker, taking care of Alphys whenever she 'forgot' to take care of herself for days. She had made a sort of habit of not leaving her dorm for days at a time, only venturing outside to go to important classes and labs. So, every couple of days you would ~~bust down~~ knock on her door and drag her outside for lunch at a nearby cafe, or a walk down to the video game store that she likes. Her girlfriend, Undyne, apparently fills in for the days you're busy off doing exams or something, but you'd only ever seen her in passing. She _was_ very busy, being the head of the Royal Guard she had a lot of important conferences and meetings that she had to attend with the King and Queen.

You were still a bit confused as to how you had made such important friends.

"Hey, how long have you and Undyne been together?" You asked Alphys one night, bunked up in her dorm under more than a few pillows with another old episode of Pokemon playing from your clunky laptop. Alphys poked her head out from a pale pink comforter, humming in thought.

"Four m-months, give or t-take?" She pondered, pushing her glasses up her nose with a single claw. "We started d-dating officially just a-a few days after the b-barrier fell."

"Woah, really? Did you meet on the surface or something?" You asked, reaching out to pause the episode. As much as you loved Team Rocket's shenanigans, you loved your friend's juicy romance stories more.

"N-no! We met way before all of that!" She said, brow furrowing. "I'd heard all about her... She w-was the Head of the Royal Guard, after all. The first t-time I met her th-though... that would have been a bit after the d-determination experiments."

You face fell. You'd heard about the so-called 'determination experiments' not long into your friendship with Alphys. You'd told her that she didn't have to tell you, as it was obviously upsetting her, but she had told you that she didn't want to lie and that she needed to come to terms with telling the truth. After hearing the story, you'd obviously told her that you didn't think any different of her, but you knew for a fact that it was a difficult part of her life. 

"I w-was in Waterfall, next to this big cliff..." She started, you offered her a hand and she grasped it gratefully. "She f-found me there, and I'm glad that she did. I think that I would have done something... s-stupid if she didn't. Her confidence, her kindness... I fell p-pretty hard."

She smiled a bit, and you returned it. She was so strong, you admired her openness a lot.

"We w-were friends for a while. Then F-Frisk came along and, well..." Her smile turned bashful.

"Well?" You said, expectantly.

"Apparently, Undyne w-wrote these... letters of affection, to me, but n-never delivered them. So Papyrus made her g-give one to Frisk to deliver..." She hesitated, an embarrassed blush spreading across her scaly cheeks. You raised a brow. "B-but I thought that they had written it! So I had to t-take them on a date and-"

"You took an eleven-year-old on a date?" You asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"It was a p-pity date!!" Alphys explained quickly.

"Poor Frisk! Did you ever think of their feelings??" 

"Shut up!!" She complained, pounding your back with her tiny fists as you howled with laughter. She huffed, leaning back against the wall, hugging her tail close to her chest like she does whenever she feels attacked. You release a final sigh, staring up at her from your new position, lengthways across the bed, perpendicular to your friend. "Anyway, Undyne found us on our d-date, found out about e-everything. The lies, the e-experiment... and she forgave me. I still s-sometimes think about what would have happened if she d-didn't..."

"She would have. No matter what." You stated. Alphys blinked down at you, confused. "I know that I don't know her as well as you, hell, I don't even know her at all. But she loves you, right?"

Alphys blinked again, then nodded slowly. You smiled.

"If she loves you even half of how much you love her, then there's no doubt in my mind that she'd forgive you for anything, as long as you apologized." You said. Alphys pondered on this for a bit. Well, more than a bit. You reached down and resumed the episode, and a whole ten minutes passed before Alphys moved, lying down across your stomach to see the laptop better.

"Thank you." She said. You just smiled, but you could tell something else was on her mind. After a minute or so, she spoke. "Hey... weird question."

You paused the video again, gesturing for her to ask away.

"Where were you when the b-barrier fell?" She asked, and you hummed. It was about four months ago, but you could remember vague details.

"It was big news... I remember all of the messages on my phone." You explained, squinting up at the ceiling. "But the exact _moment_ that the barrier broke, I was in a lab. All of Ebott felt the ground shake. It's pretty rare to have them here, so everyone freaked. But I remember this weird feeling in my chest like my heart was pounding so hard. Then... the intercoms came over the school and we all went back to normal."

Alphys nodded, fidgeting with her glasses distractedly.

"Well, until that skeleton showed up. Then the whole world seemed to shut down." You chuckled, not noticing the exasperated expression on your friend's face. "But all in all, it definitely wasn't as cool of a day as yours, I bet. I mean... experiencing all of that stuff for the first time? I couldn't imagine it."

But Alphys tried. She spoke of the first time she felt sunlight hit her scales, of walking out of the cave onto a cliff overlooking Ebott. The beach, the city, the forest. She spoke of the stars and how much she cried when she first saw them, how they were so much more than any picture in a dirty textbook scrounged from the dump. She spoke of fresh air in her lungs, and the sound of the wind rustling the leaves of the trees. She spoke of her scientific wonder, inspecting all kinds of new flora and fauna on the walk down the mountain and every different scientist she spoke to during the first meeting. There was a biologist, and zoologist, an astrophysicist, a chemist, a mechanical engineer. Every single person was so eager to absorb her knowledge, and even more excited to share their knowledge with her.

Then, she spoke of her love. The sight of her friends, all standing together on that cliff. Sun on their faces and wind in their hair. There were Asgore and Toriel, the King and Queen, who had both lived long enough that they were looking out not in wonder, but in gleeful remembrance. There were two skeletons, brothers, that had never hoped of reaching the surface, but were able to find hope through each other. She recalled a memory, one that filled you with a bittersweet feeling in your heart, of the younger not knowing what the sun even was, but loving it anyway. There was Frisk, the young child that had set them all free. She had watched them escape from the Ruins and somehow set them all free. They had looked at the group of monsters with them and decided to stay with them. As a family.

Finally, she spoke of Undyne. How she had clutched her girlfriend's hand and shared their first kiss under the stars. She told you about everything, the way the moonlight reflected against her blue scales, and how (you c-can't tell her I told y-you!) the Leader of the Royal Guard's single eye had welled up with tears, finally seeing all of the monsters' dreams come true.

You had both shed a few tears by the end of her story, and while Alphys wasn't the best with words, you felt that she had done a damn good job. The two of you had laughed at yourselves, getting emotional like that, and jumped up to get a few snacks. She was going to finally show you Mew Mew Season Two, after all, and she wanted you to be at full capacity so that she could rant to you all night.

 

 

The first thing that crossed your mind when you woke up was that it was half-past _way too early_. Second, your phone was ringing. It was a familiar ringtone, custom set to be equal parts cute and annoying, just like the yellow demon herself. 

You fumbled blindly for your phone on the bedside table, finally getting a grip on it enough to press the glowing green button and stop the insanely loud anime music. 

"Hello?" You groaned, putting it up to your ear.

"Yo! Human science nerd!!" A gravelly voice pierced your ears, shocking you awake. That wasn't Alphys, but they must have her phone, so by process of elimination...

"Who...? Alphys' gf???" You managed hoarsely. The voice on the other side laughed, a great, bellowing guffaw.

"That's me!" She said proudly. Distantly, you could hear Alphys' frantic voice saying: 'hang up! it's n-not important!! let them s-sleep!!!'

"What's up, I'm totally awake." You lied, throwing your blanket away and swinging your legs off of the side of your bed. You were lucky to get a single dorm, being a grad student, so you could totally just get up, turn the lights on and make a phone call at...

4 AM???

"Good! Alphys needs help with her pot plant!!" Undyne explained, ignoring the helpless cries of her girlfriend telling her to leave you alone. "You're like, a plant nerd, right??"

"That I am." You replied, already making the move to get some shoes and a jacket. "I'm coming over. Knowing Alphys she's probably killing the poor thing."

You heard a soft protest from Alphys, and a hearty chuckle from Undyne.

So at 4 AM, on a winter night, dressed in only your cactus printed pyjamas and some fuzzy slippers and your bag of supplies on your shoulder, you exited your dorm and traversed your way across campus to help your friend with a plant. Did already mention the 4 AM part? You were _such_ a good friend. 

By the time you made it to Alphys' dorm, you were shivering your sleepy little butt off. The second the door opened, you were pulled inside with a blanket tossed over your shoulders, Alphys chiding you for being an idiot and 'why didn't you wear something warmer' and 'why did you even come in the first place, you didn't need to!' and 'you know that humans get sick when they do this kind of stuff'.

"Ew, are you gonna get all snotty and gross?" Undyne asked from the couch, a disgusted look on her face. "We took Frisk sledding the other day and they got a 'cold' or whatever Tori said. They were making these _gross_ sounds and the stuff that came out of their _nose_ was-"

"Undyne, n-not now." Alphys said, putting another blanket on you for good measure.

"I'm fine, guys." You said exasperatedly, shrugging of the third blanket Alphys was offering. Where was she even _getting_ them from??? "I'm a little bit tougher than you might think. Humans don't get sick from two minutes in the cold."

"Okay, cool, now can ya fix Alphy's plant?" Undyne demanded, jabbing a finger in the direction of the corner. You looked over as Alphys chided her girlfriend over manners, but you were much more concerned.

"Oh my god, Alphys.... what have you done to this poor guy???" You cried dramatically, rushing over to the dejected little Devil's Ivy sitting on her desk. Alphys turned, a blush covering her cheeks.

"I, uh... d-d-don't really know how surface plants work?" She tried, and you sighed. 

"You've managed to not give enough sun to a _Devil's Ivy_. It's like drowning a fish, it's near impossible." You said, and Undyne burst into a loud laugh, which she quickly muffled with her hand when Alphys reminded her that it was 4 AM. Alphys' blush deepened, and you turned back to the poor guy, picking up the tiny pot and cradling it like a sick newborn. "There, there, little guy... The big mean science lady ain't gonna hurt you anymore..."

Undyne snorted, and Alphys smacked her arm. This didn't phase her one bit.

"It looks like you haven't had this guy in the sun for weeks, and he's _sooo_ dehydrated. Alphys, you've brought the little guy to the grave, basically. Luckily, they're hanging on for dear life..." You muttered, crossing the room to set him on the windowsill. You went to open the blinds, and Alphys actually _hissed_. "Bro, if this guy doesn't get some sunlight, they're gonna _die_."

"Sorry." Alphys said, even more embarrassed now. Undyne was doing a very admirable job of containing her laughter. "N-not used to plant n-needing sunlight."

You nodded understandingly, opening the blinds and reaching into your bag for supplies. First came a larger pot, then some fresh soil and finally a little packet of plant food.

"Did you have this already set up??" Undyne snorted, her one eye positively gleeful with the amount of pure shenanigans going on. You rolled your eyes.

"I help everyone around the dormitory with their plants." You replied, carefully extracting the plant from its previous pot into a new home, then even more carefully breaking up the overcrowded roots and filling in the gaps with soil. "I get paid a bit, but it's mostly to save them from all the idiots."

Undyne sent a pointed look at Alphys, and received another smack on the shoulder for her crimes. You huffed out a laugh, and pulled out one last thing from your bag, presenting it to Alphys with enough dramatic flair to make Mettaton swoon.

"W-whats this?" Alphys asked, inspecting the little cup in your hand carefully. It was a little ceramic cup, only slightly bigger than a shot glass, glazed white with little cherry blossoms painted on. The Chinese character for flower (花) was also brushed on with careful calligraphy. You set it down into your friend's hand with a soft smile.

"A present." You said finally, watching Alphys turn it around in her hands a few times. "My mum gave it to me when I got my first plant, to remind me to water it."

Alphys' face morphed into a soft shock, her gaze snapping up from the little cup. "I-I can't take this... it means so much to you, and I-"

"I want you to have it." You said, hands moving out to curl your friend's claws around the cup. Alphys' calculating eyes searched yours for any sign of regret, sadness, anything. But she found nothing. Just warmth. 

Alphys just said your name softly, but she eventually took the pot, a small smile on her face.

Undyne cleared her throat, and the two of you snapped out of your little 'moment'. "Can I see it?"

You gestured her over, and took some time to explain that your mother and you had been to Japan a few times and both could at one point speak it semi-fluently. You still remember the basics, but you hadn't really used it since moving to Ebott. Your mother had made the cup as a set of sake cups, but they had ended up just being used around the house as decorations or as pseudo watering cans. Alphys calmed down a bit when she learned that you still had two of the set, and that she wasn't taking a prized family heirloom, but was still a little watery in the eyes by the time you were on your way to go.

Handing her the packet of food and reminding her not to overdo it with the water, you bid the couple a good night (morning?) and went back to your dorm to catch a few Zs before your shift at 9.

 


	3. In Which You're Just A City Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that not a lot is happening yet, but i'm kinda just fleshing out the characters before getting too plot heavy. i'm using this story as a sort of tester for ideas and plot development so i can improve my writing, so pwease excuse any shitty tropes you see scattered around, and don't hesitate to tell me if you don't like the way something is written or executed! also, if there's anything you really wanna see (head cannons, ideas, characters) but don't wanna write your own story to put them in, let me know!!! i love sharing ideas and this story is basically just a hotpot of different ideas and head cannons.
> 
> thanks for reading!!! uwu

You didn't really know how to feel. After spending your whole life in this city making friends, creating memories, studying your ass off and coming out on top, you were going to have to say goodbye to it all. To everyone.

Yesterday, you'd had your last day at the cafe you worked at. The owners had baked a little cake and made a big show and dance of you handing in your apron. It was fun, but today you knew it would be a lot less... fun. You sat alone in the little food court of Ebott Airport, picking at a muffin, looking over the crowd for a familiar face.

Your bags had already been checked in, anything that wasn't a necessity packed and shipped to arrive at your new apartment in a few days. That new apartment was a few cities over, along with the job you'd landed in a huge laboratory working with climate change, the stuff you had been studying for your doctorate. It had been tough to make the decision to leave your home town, but there wasn't really any place you could work other than the University, and you were kind of itching for a change of scenery.

Finally, your eyes caught a flash of red and blue. You could see Undyne, a good foot or two above the crowd, and waved her over. She looked solemn, and the short dinosaur next to her even more so.

You stood up to greet them, pulling them both in for a quiet hug. It was so strange for the three of you to be so morose, but you could understand their feelings. Monsters have been hesitant to leave the Ebott area, the only notable exception being Mettaton, mostly due to the monster's value of community and wanting to all stay together. You leaving was a big shock to them, and at some point, Alphys admitted to almost forgetting that you were human sometimes.

Undyne was the one to break the silence, as per usual, locking you in a friendly headlock to give you a 'friendly' noogie.

"Tch, punk! Don't be getting all emotional with me!" She teased, her trademark grin only faltering slightly.

"You know I'd never." You said, clapping her on the shoulder. She, of course, returned the favour ten-fold, leaving you with a ~~broken~~ bruised arm. Alphys huffed out a laugh, but you could tell she wasn't really up to it. "My plane leaves in an hour. I have to get through security."

Alphys' face dropped even further and your heart broke.

"Hey, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?" You said softly, hand reaching out to clutch one of her hands. You gave it a reassuring squeeze, but she only gave it a half-hearted shake in return. "We'll call all the time, and I'll come back for sure."

"Yeah..." Alphys finally said, looking up to meet your eyes. She examined you, the same way she always does, and sighed. "I'm r-really happy for you."

"Thanks." You said, pulling her in for a tight hug. There were tears somewhere behind your eyes, but you couldn't let them fall yet. "Thanks for everything. I'm sure I would have failed without you."

"That's n-not true..." Alphys protested softly, rubbing your back. She wasn't letting you go, not ready yet. "You're o-one of the smartest p-people I know."

You grumbled a bit at that, but she wasn't done.

"Thanks f-for looking out for m-me." She said quietly. She had been so stressed about going to the Uni, about what the humans would think of her, about cramming all her schoolwork into such a short time period. But you had been there. "Y-you were there for m-me, right from the s-start."

"We really appreciate your help, (Y/N)." Undyne added, then huffed. "You better call us as soon as you land, loser!"

You laughed, finally pulling away from your friend. You were really pushing it close for time, but you truly didn't want this moment to end. "For a second, it almost seemed like you cared about me."

" _As if_ , PUNK!" She grinned but pulled you in for one last hug. "I'm just gonna miss your stupid face being around!"

The three of you laughed, continuing your conversation loosely whilst you packed up your things and moved over to the security gate. None of you wanted to say it, but it seemed that this really was it. You sighed, fishing out your ticket from the tornado of your bag. Undyne threw her arm around her girlfriend's shoulder, holding her tight.

You looked up, ticket in hand, bag on your shoulder, and took a moment to study your best friends.

Alphys had grown a lot over the year you'd known her. Not just in style, but in her personality as well. She was getting more confident, evident in the lessening of her stammer and the way she held herself. She stood before you in acid washed jeans and a frilly pink top, a flowery headband atop her head. And she was wearing it with pride. She'd come so far from the shy monster you'd shown around the labs that fateful day.

Your smile grew as your gaze shifted to Undyne. Before meeting her, you knew her as the Head of the Royal Guard, as the woman in all of the pictures with bulky armour and a set to her jaw. You didn't know how she and Alphys could have possibly been a good match. But then, you'd met her, in all of her (secret geeky) glory. She was the most determined person you'd ever met, so full of passion. And that passion was what brought her and Alphys so close.

"Try not to do anything stupid without me." You said, grinning. The couple returned it with vigour.

"We'll try." Undyne replied. Finally, her grin seemed genuine. Alphys nodded, her smile smaller, but just as blinding. You gave them both one last hug before turning back and entering the line for the gate. When you looked back, the pair was still there, waving wildly and drawing heaps of attention. You rolled your eyes.

"Don't kill any of your plants, either!" You shouted, not caring about the crowd of disapproving looks. "And I'll know if you're lying!!"

This time, it was their turn to roll their eyes. You chuckled and turned back around, only to reach the gate and wave one last time before finally walking through the doors to the gates. You had a long walk to your gate, so you plugged in your headphones and started your journey, looking at all the pictures Alphys was sending you of her and Undyne making sad faces and mock-crying. You sent a few back, earning quite a few looks from the other humans sitting around you, but you didn't care.

Before long, you were seated on a plane (window seat!!) next to a very serious business lady, typing away on her laptop. You sent one last picture of your view from the window to the group chat along with a dramatic farewell. You read the ~~threats~~ reminders to keep them updated from Undyne and switched your phone to aeroplane mode, half-listening to the regular safety brief as the plane drove off to the runway.

You only cried a tiny bit when the plane finally took off.

 

You'd been in this new town for two months now.

With all of your stuff packed away into your brand-spanking new apartment, you were finally starting to settle into your new life. The neighbours beside you had two young daughters that you babysat occasionally, and everyone on your floor had learned of your green thumb, calling you up whenever they needed help. 

Undyne and Alphys were also keeping in touch, thankfully. They filled your inbox with little anecdotes about their day, questions about your wellbeing and, most importantly, lots of memes.

Your new job was also going well. You were working with a team of climate scientists, ecologists, biologists and chemists to figure out some ways to aid slow the effects of climate change, but also work to figure out how agriculture and ecosystems would have to change, as there was already some irreversible damage done. You loved your job, but it was taking some time to adjust to working with so many people.

"You moved here from Ebott, right?" A coworker, Jessica, asked one day. You were in communal offices (it was a very modern workplace, everything was very collaborative and new) looking over the results of an experiment you'd done. Being the only botanist on the team, you had a large area to cover by yourself, which also meant that you didn't have a lot of free time. Jessica was one of the climate scientists, always busy on some sort of chart and stressing over figures. Since your work was mostly up in the labs, you never got to talk to her much. She was roughly your age, maybe older, with poofy blonde hair always pulled tightly back into a pretty bun with one or two pens stuck through it. You set down the papers and nodded to answer her question. "So you've met monsters, right?"

"Of course." You said, smiling. You were always nice to your coworkers, even if they were interrupting you.

"What are they like?" Jessica asked curiously. You'd heard this question many times over the past two months. Everyone wanted to know about the monsters, who kept so many secrets.

"They're pretty cool. I studied with the Royal Scientist at my University. And I was good friends with her and her girlfriend." You said.

"You mean the Captain of the Royal Guard?? Big scary fish lady???" The woman questioned.

"Yes." You replied casually. "She's a lovely person. Hilarious, actually."

Jessica thought for a moment. You liked that about her, that she never spoke without thinking about what she was going to say first. 

"I'd like to go to Ebott one day." She finally said. "Meet some of the monsters myself."

"You should. Most of them love talking to people about their culture. They're very easy to talk to." You remembered an encounter you'd had with a moldsmal in the park one day. You'd bumped into them, and they'd wiggled some sort of apology that you'd somehow understood. You'd shaken your hips reassuringly back at them, and the two of you had had a full conversation of just wiggling. It had been one of the most meaningful conversations you'd ever had in your life. Thinking of this, you smiled. "Yeah, you'd probably make a friend with the first monster you saw, knowing them."

Jessica nodded thoughtfully at that, returning to her laptop to continue working. You followed in her stead, picking up your stack of papers to finish your readings.

 

 


	4. In Which You Make Some Big Life Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to write a lot of chapters all at once so that I can hopefully get some sort of update schedule going, but i'm a mess that loves instant rewards over delayed gratification so I'll probably end up posting them all at once, we'll see.

There wasn't really such thing as a day off, in your opinion. There were days where you didn't have to go to work, sure, but you always had some sort of work to do. Whether it was for your job, running errands or doing something for your neighbours, it seemed like you never had a full day to put your feet up and chill out. Sometimes you missed your teenage years, where you would lie in bed with nothing to do, but then you remembered the hellscape that was high school and promptly decided that you vastly preferred being busy to _that_.

Today was one of your 'days off', but you had a lot to do. You had to go into town for a doctors appointment (just to get another round of scripts) then you probably needed to do some cleaning before the kids from next door came over for you to watch whilst their parents had their date night. 

Letting out a sigh, you stared up at the ceiling of your bedroom. You'd always liked to give yourself a little plan for the day before you got out of bed, trying to organise your scattered mess of a head to give yourself a tiny head start.

First, get up. Baby steps.

Second, get some breakfast. There was still a bit of cereal in the cupboard, maybe enough for two small bowls. Or one big bowl.

Third, take a shower and brush your teeth. Hygiene was very important.

Then, leave your apartment and do everything that you needed to do in town. Were you remembering everything? You sighed again but got up anyway, going through your morning checklist (it seemed that your stomach demanded the big bowl this time, you'd need to go to the grocery store) and finally you were ready.

"Right." You said while trying the laces of your sneakers. "Doctors, then to the mall for that bonsai tree we want, then groceries and then... that's everything!"

You hopped up to your feet and walked through your door to the hallway outside of your apartment. Locking the door behind you, you headed out.

 

"Thanks for taking the kids again," Natasha said as a tangle of children tumbled into your apartment. Her husband, Steve, smiled at you from behind his wife. Their two twin girls, Lucy and Claudia, were the spitting image of the both of them, with Nat's deep brown hair and Steve's bright blue eyes. They were the perfect family. 

"Anytime, guys." You said, then mock-shooed them away. "Now go out and enjoy yourselves, ya'here! I want nothing but tomfoolery."

The pair chuckled at your antics, but thanked you again and hurried down the hall, obviously eager to have a night alone on the town. You knew from experience that these girls were a handful (not bad, just a lot) so you understood their need for some time to themselves. You closed the door and rounded on the twins, who were already fiddling with your TV remote.

"Alright ladies, who wants pizza?" Your question was met with instant cheers of approval, and you fished out your phone to get the nearest pizza joint's number.

"(Y/N), can we pweaseeee get stuffed crust?" Lucy asked, tugging on your leg desperately.

"Yeah! Dada never lets us get stuffed crust!!!" Claudia said indignantly. "He's a doodoo-head."

Lucy nodded her head solemnly, and you had to laugh. These kids were going to be the death of you, you knew it.

"I'll get ya damn stuffed crust." You said, and waited a moment for the cheers to die down. "Your dad's just looking out for you, guys. You always need to be careful with stuffed crust."

"What do you mean?" Lucy demanded, totally offended by the insinuation that stuffed crust was anything less than perfection.

"Well, you have to specify what you want to crust stuffed with, you know." You said knowledgeably, then paused for dramatic effect. The kids were just eating this up. "One time, when I asked for stuffed crust, instead of cheese I got..."

"SPIDERS!" You jumped, tackling the girls to the couch as they squirmed and squealed. You trapped them in your arms, using your fingers to imitate spiders crawling all over them. The two of them were giggling their little butts off, trying their hardest to fight back against your heavy body. Eventually, they ended up on top of you, a pair of matching mischievous grins on their little faces.

"Get her! Get her!" They screamed, jumping up and down, knocking the wind out of you in the process.

"Hey, HEY!" You laughed, waving your phone around. "Get off or there's no pizza at all!"

This seemed to be the trick in stopping the attack, but only started the loud complaining that only ended with you finally dialling the pizza place and placing the order. Two pepperoni pizzas with (cheese) stuffed crust. Yes, they made you specify.

Half an hour later, pizza's in hand, the three of you were chilling on the couch. The twins watching some new Disney movie on the TV while you finished off some work. It was really pissing you off, the other biologists had synthesized this new bacteria that could change a lot of inorganic matter (trash) in the ocean into something that could be eaten by fish and other marine life, but that new stuff that they create could completely change the ecosystem enough to damage the sea plants and coral. Because of that, and that fact that the biologists had already stupidly published their findings and it was blowing up online, you and the ecologists had to write a follow-up report that outlined these new risks that the bacteria presented. It was a stupid mess, and the team of biologists were really starting to hate you, but you had to have your report finished by tomorrow or the lab was gonna go through with this new project anyway.

You groaned and rubbed your temples, pushing your laptop away from you. You didn't want to look at it for at least, like, two hundred years.

It seemed that your prayers for a distraction were answered in the form of a video call from your bestie, Alphys. You pulled your laptop back on your lap and clicked on the large green button, the screen buffering for a tiny bit before a fuzzy video of the yellow dinosaur appeared.

"Oh! I d-didn't expect you to p-pick up!" Alphys exclaimed happily. You grinned.

"Believe me, you called me at the perfect moment." You said, watching the kids look over at you curiously from the place, strewn upside down on the back of the couch. "How've you been? What's been going on in the life of the brilliant Dr Alphys?"

The woman blushed and stammered at that. Alphys had finished her many doctorate programs just last month, you'd flown back to Ebott just to attend the massive party that the University had thrown for her. She'd completed a doctorate in Electrical Engineering, Chemical Engineering, Physics and Mathematics in just two years (she'd used most of her experiments from the Underground for her thesis', which the University was fine with) which was crazy since it usually took two years, minimum, to get one PhD. She was easily the most brilliant person on the planet.

"I'm doing g-great.." She said, exasperated. "The amount of labs asking me to m-move out to them is c-crazy."

"Oh? What are you gonna do?" You said, knowing how the monsters felt about moving away from their communities. Alphys hesitated.

"That's a-actually what I was calling about." She told you. Before you could reply, the weight of two children landing on your stomach and knocking the wind out of you _again_ cut you off.

"Who's that?"

"Woah! Is that a monster?!"

"Hi monster!"

"Girls! You're crushing me!!!" You cried out, making the twins apologize and climb off but not relent in their questions. "Claudia, Lucy, this is my friend Alphys."

"HI ALPHYS!" They cried in unison. You watched Alphys stammer out a surprised little hello. The video quality wasn't great but you could have probably seen the confusion on Alphys' face if it was pixelated beyond recognition. 

"They aren't mine, Alphys." You assured her, laughing. "I'm babysitting for my neighbour."

"Th-thank god..." She replied, making you laugh harder. "I don't know m-much about human biology, but..."

"Do you really think I would crank out two kids and not tell you about it?" You asked. Alphys was reaching a critical level on the blush meter, so you hurried to change the subject. "So, what were you calling about."

The girls wandered off when they realised that it was getting into _adult talk_ territory, so you and Alphys were left relatively alone. Alphys hesitated again.

"I didn't want to l-leave Ebott, but the human government r-really wants me to be doing some work..." She explained. There was a crashing sound somewhere in the distance, but neither of you reacted. Must be Undyne. "S-so, they've, um... starting building a lab f-for me in Ebott???"

You sat there for a moment, allowing the information to absorb into your little walnut brain as best you could. Finally, it clicked.

"Of course." You nodded, understanding. Alphys blinked, confused. "If anyone deserves a lab built just for them, it's you."

Alphys went to combat that statement, but Undyne came flying through their living room at sonic speed, fighting some pale, lanky dude that you'd never met before. She smashed into one of the dining room chairs, instantly shattering it like it was made of glass. "She's right, honey!" She paused to tackle the other guy, landing a solid uppercut on his jaw. "YOU DESERVE IT!"

With that, the brawling duo dived back the way they came, shattering something glass (probably a window) in the process. Alphys rolled her eyes, turning back to the camera. 

"Seriously, Alphy, I'm really proud of you." You said and watched her nod halfheartedly. "What's the plan? Tell me all about it."

You munched on your last slice of pizza as she explained the situation. The lab was being built on the edge of the monster district in Ebott, closest to the mountain so that she could hook it up to the Core. With the Core, she could most likely power half the state. You whistled at that, but she wasn't done talking. There were a few monsters that had worked with her Underground that would be joining the lab, and a lot of other monsters were currently in school getting their degrees in various sects of science so that they could join the effort. 

"B-but..." She said, finally. You raised a brow. "The government wants to bring in a team of h-human scientists as well... and A-Asgore isn't liking that at a-all..."

"Why does the lab need humans?" You questioned, sitting up a bit straighter in your seat. You could tell this conversation was getting serious. One cursory look at the girls told you that they were too engrossed in their cartoons, and not caused any trouble. Alphys grumbled.

"They w-won't say the exact r-reason... but I think w-we both know why." She said solemnly. You sighed, and nodded your head. Sometimes, you really despised your own kind. First and foremost for locking the monsters up in the first place. Second, for being such dicks about it when the Monsters finally resurfaced. It had been over two years since the barrier fell, and there were tensions starting to rise over the monsters' secrecy and quiet nature. Radical political groups were starting to suggest that they had ulterior motives, or that they couldn't be trusted. In your experience with monsters, you knew that couldn't be less true. But because most of the world had never met them, they were worried. 

They were scared.

"They're sending some humans in to spy on you." You stated, not really questioning, but just putting it in the air. Alphys hummed in agreement. "What'll you do?"

"I don't know..." Alphys sighed. "Asgore w-won't let any work with t-the core progress if humans are there t-to snoop, and then the w-whole project would be for n-nothing."

You nodded slowly, thinking. Alphys didn't speak, just watched you through the screen as your mind raced.

"How about..." You started, hesitating slightly. You looked around the room, at the apartment you had settled into so well, at the girls in front of you that you'd grown to care so much about. Then, you examined Alphys' little portrait on the screen. The bags under her eyes were worse than normal, her claws toying nervously with each other. She was your best friend, you hated seeing her so distressed. "How about... I come back?"

"W-what?" Alphys asked, tail twitched slightly. You nodded, mouth set in a firm, determined line.

"I said; how about I come back?" You repeated, watching Alphys go to shut you down. You stopped her. "If I come back and work with you, the humans might back off. And Asgore will probably trust your judgement. That you trust me, yeah?"

"I-I mean, I suppose, but..." Alphys trailed off, struggling to find the words. "You love your j-job, you were so excited about it!"

You chuckled, thinking of the people you worked with. Only Jessica really stood out as someone you liked, everyone else only talked to you about monsters and Ebott, discrediting your work because you studied such a niche field. Nobody really took you seriously, only coming to you to see if the new thing they'd made will fuck up the plants or not. It wasn't really what you expecting when you accepted the job offer.

"Alphys, this job ain't for me." You said, a small smile dancing across your lips. You had been thinking it for so long, it felt kind of nice to finally say it out loud. "Nobody cares about me here, and... I miss you guys. I messed up leaving Ebott, I think"

Alphys stared at you, not in that deep look she usually does, but just assesses your face. You smile, and she lets out a sigh.

"It m-might work... I'll ask A-Asgore about it now." She said, grabbing her phone and typing a message. When she looked back, she was smiling. "It'll be good to s-see you again. Anime n-nights aren't the same without y-your complaining."

You rolled your eyes at her, but you were smiling. The two of you bickered back and forth for a bit longer, but eventually, it sounded like Undyne was actually going to break a wall or something, so Alphys had to run and stop her. You bid her good luck and ended the call, staring at the black screen for a minute in silent reflection.

You didn't know if you had made the right choice, but it had felt right in the moment, and that's all you really cared about doing. Besides, the hopeful look on Alphys' face had washed away the stress slightly, so maybe it was all worth it.


	5. In Which You Embarrass Yourself Multiple Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so lonely lmaooooo. making this story is so fun but it makes me sad sometimes. 
> 
> (enough of my moping, enjoy!!!)

You usually described yourself as someone who went with the flow. You did enjoy planning things out, but when a new situation arose and a wrench was thrown into those plans, you really didn't mind. Because of this, you didn't care to put much thought into going back to the city you had basically only just moved away from. Sure, you'll miss the friends that you made there, but you were aching to go back home.

And by home, you meant _home_.

The old house was nearly identical to the others on the street, but it was unmistakably yours. There were memories embedded into every centimetre of the place, both good and bad, happy and sombre. You took a deep breath and walked up the steps onto the patio, fishing the old key out of your pocket to unlock the large wooden door. The paint was cracked and had completely fallen off in places. You'd need to spend some time fixing it up after all.

After a moment of stalling, you decided that you were ready. Twisting the key into its slot and pushing the door open to reveal your childhood home, listening to the old wood creak and groan. Things were eerily similar to the last time you had been in all those years ago, but now with an added cold that came with years of vacancy. Someone had been to clean things before your arrival, but other than that, it was exactly the same. Every chair tucked into its same place, every book in its own spot.

Then, there was that massive pile of boxes in the middle of the room.

You sighed, throwing your keys into the bowl by the door and venturing to wrestle open one of the boxes. It was labelled 'kitchen supplies', but after a cursory look inside, it was all clothes. You groaned. This would take forever, but you hopped up to your feet, rolled up your sleeves and got to work.

It took a lot of elbow grease and the entirety of your weekend, but eventually, you got everything packed away. Undyne and Alphys dropped by once to help, but they had ended up wandering over to the massive cherry blossom tree in your backyard to smooch like the gross anime couple they were for a good hour, then left you to your own devices. They had moved out of the University housing into a little rental apartment, but now that Alphys was getting a full-time job, they were starting to look into buying a home for themselves.

It was all very domestic and lovely, and they had reason to be excited! Asgore had approved your little plan to have you working with Alphys to ward off the humans, and it had actually worked! The government had reached out to you, done a whole background check and had deemed you worthy of working there. A big fancy government man had come and basically interviewed you about what type of work you would be doing as a Biologist (you didn't miss his skepticism of how you would be useful), but after informing him that you would be continuing your research on slowing climate change and telling him some science mumbo-jumbo, he seemed pleased enough in you that he sent a shining report back to his manager, and you were set to start work as soon as the new lab opened.

Time really flew after that. So much so that by the time you were finally settling into your new (old?) house, the lab was up and open for business.

"(Y/N)!" Alphys called as soon as she spotted you at the Grand Opening (hosted by Mettaton™). She had cleaned her glasses for once and was wearing a fancy pink polka dot dress under her brand-new lab coat. You had a matching one, the delta rune symbol embroidered into the breast pocket, but you were wearing a much more casual outfit underneath. The new lab was looming above you, slightly out of place in the suburban landscape, what with its modern design and neon lights. Still, it was impressive. "I've g-gotta introduce you to the t-team, C'mon!"

You let the excited monster drag you over to a line of lab coat-wearing monsters standing near the temporary stage, all of whom smiled and waved as you approached.

"Guys, this is my friend I was t-talking about." Alphys said, presenting you like a kid at show and tell. You grinned at everyone, introducing yourself and shaking everybody's hands (those who had hands, at least. there was a moldsmal that you had to shake your hips at). "W-where's Sans?"

"You know what he's like." Jenny, an older looking rabbit monster sighed with a knowing smile. "He might not even show up..."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll turn up eventually." A deep, baritone voice boomed from behind you. Of course, you immediately knew who it was going to be, but you suppose nobody would really be prepared to turn around and see the King of all Monsters looking down at them. King Asgore was in his full royal regalia for the event, the tiny crown atop his head dwarfed by his massive horns, a practiced smile on his face as he stared down at you. "Ah, you must be the human that Dr Alphys had spoken so much of. Howdy!"

"Hello, your majesty!" You squeaked out, and he let out a deep, _deep_ chuckle that shook your very bones.

"Please skip the formalities. Any friend of the doctor is a friend of mine." He assured you, holding out a massive paw for you to shake. "I must thank you for offering your help to us. Your human government has been... apprehensive... of our work. Having you here will help bridge the divide that is forming, I'm sure of it. We'll all be watching you with interest."

You just nodded, too tongue-tied to get a word in.

"Asgore, please. You're frightening the poor woman." Someone said from behind the King. It was, of course, the Queen, and Asgore scratched the back of his head sheepishly. 

"Sorry, Tori..."

The Queen regarded her husband with an icy stare, before turning back towards you with a warmer look. God, could this day get any more stressful??

"Excuse me! Coming through! No autographs at this current moment, please, I've got interviews to do!" 

Your group all looked over to find the source of the commotion, but only you were really surprised to see Mettaton - A-List Celebrity and Star to the Monsters™ - striding over towards your group in all his chrome-plated glory, a gaggle of cameramen sprinting behind him.

"Oh dear..." The Queen said softly.

"Hello, everyone! I'm your host, Mettaton! And I'm here LIVE at the grand opening of the new monster-led laboratory in Ebott, New Lab! Can we get some excitement in the crowd?!" He called out to the large assortment of humans and monsters that had gathered, mostly there to see the opening, but some seemed only there to see Mettaton, as they screamed and cheered the robot's name with signs boasting his name in pink glitter and shirts with his android face printed on. After the applause died down, he scanned the small group of people next to the stage, his hot pink eyes finally resting on you. You gulped. "Well, hello~! What would your name be, beautiful?"

You shot a glare at Alphys, trying to convey the message of (HELPMEHELPMEHELPMEHELPMEEE) via telepathy. But the woman just laughed, being the awful friend she was.

"Uh... (Y/N)!" You stated nervously. 

"WELL WELL WELL~!" Mettaton grinned, pushing the mic closer to your face. "On a scale of 1 to FABULOUS™, how excited are you to start work here with the brilliant Dr Alphys?"

"Super-duper fabulous???" You said hesitantly, and the crowd of Metta-fans™ roared with delight. Mettaton let out a loud, graceful laugh, turning back to the field of cameras.

"Well, folks~! Don't just take my word for it! Just listen to the anticipation that is practically  _oozing_ from the soon-to-be employees of this brilliant laboratory~!!!" Mettaton sung, posing dramatically. You were left frozen behind him in a daze of shock/embarrassment, watching the robot... do his thing?? "Tune in later for the official opening~! Be there or be SQUARE~!!!"

With that, the cameras shut off and dispersed, going off to wherever they needed to be. Mettaton rounded on you, and you tensed habitually.

"Sorry for putting you on the spot like that, darling." He said, petting the top of your head sympathetically. "Not everyone can be prepared for my _awesome_ presence."

70% of the group around you rolled their eyes, but Mettaton either didn't notice or didn't care to react. Instead, he pressed a kiss on both of your cheeks, bid you all a farewell, and strutted off to wherever he needed to be. It was all very overwhelming.

"Wow..." Was all you managed, and Alphys snorted, clapping you on the back semi-sympathetically. You smacked her arm away, suddenly remembering her betrayal. 

"H-hey!" She said, clutching her arm almost as dramatically as the robot that had just left. You bristled.

"Hey yourself!!" You yelled, enunciating every syllable with a (soft) punch to her spiky head. "You weren't the one who just embarrassed yourself on live television! _And!!_ You didn't even _try_ to help!!!"

The two of you argued between yourselves good-naturedly, and eventually, you lost the shakes you'd had since the surprise interview. The 'grand opening' was basically just the King and Queen making a quick speech about how proud they were of all of the monster accomplishments that has been made then joining Alphys and all of the other scientists to cut the ribbon over the door with a comically large pair of scissors. All throughout the affair, Mettaton was trying to cram as much drama in as he possibly could, posing up a storm and even bursting into song at one point (when had the band been set up???).

The rest of the night played out very well. The stage was taken down and in its place, a dance floor and matching DJ booth were set up. You spent the night mingling with your new coworkers and trying to escape Undyne's 'dancing', which wasn't technically dancing and more of a 'she grabs you and spins you around the dance floor until you feel like dying' kind of thing. 

"Oh my god..." You said, stumbling away from the fish woman. Luckily for you, she'd found some other victim, and you'd been able to escape to Alphys' side. "Any more spins and I think all my organs would explode..."

Alphys' nose wrinkled in mild disgust as you made a gesture of an explosion, adding in some squelching noises for good measure. She groaned as your gestures became more and more disgusting, but you could tell that she was distracted by something. She usually loved your 'try and gross each other out' contests.

"Something on your mind?" You asked, slumping into the seat next to her. She shook her head distractedly.

"It's n-nothing..." She assured you, her eyes scanning the crowd. She'd been doing that all night, and you were about to ask her about it when she cut you off. "The g-guy Jenny was talking about before, he s-still hasn't shown up..."

"Do you think something's up?" You asked, noticing her distress. She shook her head hastily.

"N-no, he usually doesn't l-leave the house, but..." Alphys trailed off, frowning. You placed a steady hand on her shoulder. "He s-said that he'd come."

You pondered on this for a bit. Obviously, you didn't know this guy. Jenny seemed to have thought that he wouldn't show up, and even Alphys admitted that this wasn't his gig. Giving her a kind smile, you rubbing her shoulder a bit.

"I don't think you should worry yourself, Alphy. If the guy doesn't like these sorts of things, then maybe he just wasn't feeling it." You reasoned. Alphys nodded, but it didn't look like she really agreed with you. You sighed, standing up and holding out a hand for her to take. She raised a curious brow. "C'mon, we're gonna dance. You gotta get your mind outta the gutter."

"Oh, I d-don't think that's necessary-" She started, but you were already pulling her out of her chair and to the dance floor. The DJ was playing some sort of techno/pop song, possibly one of Mettaton's, but needless to say, not the type of song you would slow dance to. So, of course, you had to slow dance to it. You took your friends hands and plopped them around your waist, wrapping your arms around her shoulders and started to sway to the beat. Alphys was blushing like mad, but the hilarity of the situation was making her laugh, at least. "(Y/N), I-I-"

"Shhhh." You whispered, holding a finger to her lips with a cheeky wink. You took one of her hands and waltzed her around in a sort of clumsy tango, adding in a few spins and dips for good measure. You knew that you were making a fool of yourself, but you couldn't bring yourself to care as you watched the worry slowly drip away from your friend's face under the harsh neon lights.

Eventually, Undyne came over and made a big show of asking Alphys for a dance. Alphys, being a big romantic nerd, practically jumped into her girlfriend's arms, letting the buff woman carry her (the height difference was kinda hilarious sometimes) away. With your mission accomplished, you wandered peacefully over to the drinks table for some water.

"heh, the doc's really tan _going_ for it, ain't she?"

Jumping a bit at the sudden voice, you spun on your heels to find the source.

"oops, didn't mean to make you jump outta ya skin." The skeleton winked at you. You could almost fucking hear the little buh dum tss in the back of your mind.

"Uh... don't worry. Bones are still all in place." You replied, then face-palmed as the stupidity of what you had just said hit you. The guy chuckled, the bones under his eye sockets bending up into a straight line that helped the expression form on his face. Huh. That was weird. 

"glad to hear it, bud." He said, holding out a hand. "the name's sans, sans the skeleton."

"(Y/N), the human-" Your cheeky reply was cut off by a sudden zap as soon as your hand touched his, causing him to go into another fit of laughter. "Did you seriously just..."

"buzzer in the hand trick!" Sans said gleefully, holding out his hand for you to see the little contraption in his hand. You deadpanned. "hey, sorry, buddy. it was just a joke..."

"No, no, it's fine." You assured him, your own grin spreading across your face. "Just a little... _shocked_."

This time, you added your own little drum sound effect, practically beaming with pride. Sans nodded, seemingly impressed.

"alright, i'll admit, that was good." He said, stripping his hand of the little buzzer and offering it to you once again. "truce?"

You raised a brow, leaning down to inspect the hand from all angles carefully before you were satisfied, taking his hand in yours for a strong shake. The feeling of bones against skin felt weird, obviously, but you could get used to it. "Deal."

From across the field, Undyne and Alphys stood, watching the interaction carefully. They'd stopped dancing just in time to see the little buzzer trick, and while they were rolling their eyes, they were a little surprised to even see Sans outside, let alone making _jokes_ with a stranger.

The couple glanced at each other, a matching pair of evil grins on their faces.


	6. In Which You Do Acid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu lots of stuff going on!!!
> 
> gonna let y'all know that this AIN'T gonna be a slow burn story. i hate delayed gratification :)))))

You were alone in your little lab, listing to some music while you worked. Well, it technically wasn't just yours, but because of how sparse the Biology department was, you were the only one to ever really use it. Because of this, you had taken the liberty of decorating it a bit within the first few days of starting. First, the place was basically a greenhouse with the amount of plants you'd managed to cram into all of the little shelves and cupboards. Second, you'd bought like five awful motivational cat posters to stick all over the walls. Alphys hated them, and maybe that was part of the reason you kept them up.

It was pretty peaceful in here, and you always knew that if it got too hectic on the main, communal floor of the lab, you could always just come back down here to chill.

That was basically what had happened today. Most of the people in the labs were some sort of engineer, so when some miscalculation had sent nearly the entire room into a frenzy of magma and screaming, you'd happily slipped away with a few others to escape the madness. 

And now you were in your little lab, working on another dead-end garbage cleaner to fix pollution. You let out a sigh, staring at your little cup of acid in hopes of seeing some sort of movement from your little enzyme boys.

"Keep fighting... you can do it" You encouraged lazily, then yawned. It seemed that the cat posters weren't doing their jobs.

Yeah, this wasn't really going anywhere.

"hey, what's up-"

"You're not wearing safety glasses!" You interrupted as soon as you saw the skeleton. Sans seemed shocked, maybe confused. "I got some piping hot acid sitting right here! That's, like, lab rule #0!!"

Sans cocked his head to the side slightly, staring at you. "buddy, i _don't have eyes_."

"Don't care." You replied simply, turning back to your bench to continue your observations, gesturing blindly over to the set of spare glasses sitting on the windowsill. Sans didn't reply, probably trying to understand your amazing logic. You sighed. "Look, I'm like the _only_ person who had to wear them in this whole building. It's starting to make me feel left out."

"can understand your jealousy." Sans said, reaching over and sliding the glasses onto his face. Somehow, they stayed where they were. Even though he didn't have ears. Or a nose. "it's awesome not having eyes."

You deadpanned, but let him sit in the stool opposite yours as you scribbled down some notes in your awful handwriting. Sans stayed silent for at least a minute, watching you watch your boring experiment in peace. But, of course, peace never did last with him around.

"so as interesting as i find acid to be, and believe me, i love the stuff." You groaned, burying your head in your arms hopelessly. "i doubt that's what you're actually doing."

You grumbled out an affirmative noise, throwing in a few curse words for good measure, before explaining your situation. "These dumb enzymes won't eat my garbage..." You complained. Pouting, you looked up at Sans, who was trying admirably hard not to laugh. "I'm trying to save the planet!!!"

"i know, i know..." He replied, though his grin was still pretty cheeky. He hesitated before speaking this time. "you need a break?"

"Yes..." You mumbled into your sleeve, glancing up at the skeleton in front of you. "But I don't know... I wouldn't wanna waste all of this perfectly good acid..."

Sans rolled his eyes (pin-pricks?) and hopped out of his seat, offering you his hand. After making sure there was no buzzer (or whoopee-cushion! you'd heard that one from multiple other people) you took it and hauled yourself up. You hadn't taken your lunch break yet, but you had also not brought anything for lunch...

"i know a place nearby, if you wanna change of scenery?" Sans asked as the two of you walked out of the lab, heading towards the elevator. "my treat."

You smiled, plucking the safety glasses that he'd forgotten about off of his face and tucking them away in your coat. "It's a date."

The two of you laughed, hopping in the elevator and disappeared behind its massive doors.

Down the hall, Alphys was squealing, already texting Undyne like crazy about their new favourite OTP.

 

"I'm sorry - but that _can't_ be true." 

"sorry, buddy, can't help having superior eyes."

"But that's the thing! You _don't!"_  You stressed. "What you just said basically boils down to 'blah blah my eyes are the void blah blah physics stuff that you'll never understand'!"

Sans chuckled a bit at your impression of him (all baritone and salt), but he gave explaining it another go.

"they ain't the void. just... nothing." Was what he finally settled on. You groaned. "what i mean is, there's nothing there. like no atoms, no quarks, neutrinos, nada. nothing for the light to bounce off of, so you can't perceive anything as there."

"But that doesn't make sense!" You groaned, yanking at strands of your hair. "You're on earth, so there's probably like oxygen atoms in there somewhere and probably some dirt-"

"hey-"

"And you've literally got some sort of light going on in there." You said, gesturing to the little pin pricks of white in the black of his eye sockets. 

"not light-"

" _What I'm asking is_." You said, cutting him off. "How does it work?"

Sans paused, thinking for a moment, and you were practically hopping with anticipation.

"magic."

...

"Are you _kidding_ me?" You practically shouted, the quickly stopped to apologize to the elderly monster you'd just startled. When you turned back to Sans, though, you were far from done. "I'm asking questions of legitimate scientific curiosity, from a bro to another bro, and you give me that bullshit answer??"

Sans just shrugged, a shit-eating grin on his face. You shook your head disapprovingly, but you knew that there wasn't much else you were going to get out of him after that. If his idea of a joke was to keep you guessing, then there was nothing you could do but wait until the joke wore off.

"here it is." Sans said. 'here' was apparently a small restaurant with a classic old fashioned bar/diner theme, the sign out front read: 'Grilby's' in large orange letters. Upon walking inside, the heat (and the smell!!) hit your body and warmed you to your core, washing the autumn cold right off of you. Even if you had never been before, it felt oddly like home.

There were a few monsters scattered around the place, cosying up in the booths and playing cards at the tables, but they all looked up and called out a greeting to Sans as the two of you walked past, a few people shooting cautious look your way. Just as you were starting to grow nervous at the number of curious eyes on you, a familiar wobble filled your ears and you turned to happily greet the moldsmal settled into a booth with a few friends. You shook your hips inquisitively, but the jello monster just shimmied flirtily and a massive blush bloomed on your face. 

Sans gestured to a booth in the far corner and lead you over, fixing you with a curious stare as you settled into the padded seat.

"What's up?" You asked. Sans shook his head dismissively.

"nothin, just... can't really get a good read outta ya." He said quietly. You quirked your head to the side, silently asking him to elaborate. He sighed. "can i be frank with you?"

"Of course." You said, setting the menu down to give him your undivided attention.

"alphys first told me about 'cha probably two years ago, when the two of you first met. told me all about the human who was so nice to her at the school." He told you, pausing a moment to think about what he was going to say. "and if i'm honest, and i know this is really weird, but i had to make sure you weren't gonna do nothin' to hurt her."

You thought about this for a moment, nodding. "So you... spied on me?"

"yes." Sans replied, looking at you dead in the eye with those piercing white dots, trying to read your reaction. 

"I... understand. Why you did it, I mean." You said, looking right back into those pits of darkness. You thought about what he might have seen you do. Probably some stupid shit like groceries and tripping over your own feet. "It was early on and it was easy to distrust people. Especially humans."

Sans studied you for a bit longer, his eyes giving off that same vibe that Alphys always does when she's trying to read you, but after a moment his regular grin seemed to melt back into place. "see... i really just don't understand you."

"What do you mean?"

"you... all the stuff you do is confusing." He said, running a hand over his skull exasperatedly. "you went outta your way to help alphys on that first day, then nearly got the guy who abandoned her fired?"

"He wasn't doing his job." You said, but Sans shook his head.

"you didn't have too, though. you'd only just met her." He explained, staring at you. "then now, you moved cities just to help her out. so that _your_ government wouldn't interfere with her work."

"They were being racist." You countered, frowning. "And I was already planning on moving back, anyways."

Sans pondered on this for a moment. Well, maybe he was. He was still staring at you, narrowing his eye sockets every now and again as his mind raced. You fell back into your seat, letting the warmth that seemed to be radiating from within the cushions soak into your bones. Finally, Sans spoke.

"when i first showed up at the party, for the opening of the lab, i was planning on just chatting to alph for a bit then booking it. i knew she'd be bummed if i was a no-show, but those types of parties ain't really my scene." Sans explained, and you nodded. You remembered Alphys telling you all about her friend that hadn't shown up. "then, i saw you. the same human that had befriended alphys ages ago. and you were dancin' with her, makin' her laugh and stuff. and i knew... that you couldn't be that bad."

"So you decided to prank me." You concluded, a brow raised. A bead of sweat formed on his skull.

"heh, couldn't miss the opportunity." He said, almost sheepishly. You rolled your eyes, but smiled as the server - a pretty flame monster in a sailor uniform? - came up and crackled warmly. "hey fuku, ill get the usual. and for the lady...?"

"Uh, I'll get a fries, please." You said, hoping that the monster would understand you. She seemed to get it just fine, as she said something brightly in her cool fire language and skipped away. Sans flushed instantly, a light blue dusting covering his cheekbones. "What did she say?"

"uh... just something in fire speech." He carefully avoided your question, making you grumble. "sorry buddy, if you wanna know, you gotta learn."

"Oh yeah, lemme just whip out my ancient monster language textbook." You quipped sarcastically, making him chuckle. The two of you joked back and fourth for a while. The serious nature of the previous conversation left forgotten as you tried to keep the mood light. At some point, fuku had returned with your food and you'd nearly gagged at the amount of ketchup he piled onto his tiny serve of fries. He tried to offer you some, but after witnessing the drowning of those poor fries you wanted yours to live a peaceful life. Well, until you ate them, at least. And _my god_ they were good! You'd had monster food a few times with Alphys, so you weren't surprised at the feeling of the food dissolving in your mouth as you chewed (you knew that monsters didn't even chew, but it was a habit that was ingrained into your very being) but the flavour that these fries had were jaw-dropping.

By the time you had finished, you were well past the time frame of your designated hour of break time, which apparently wasn't a concern to Sans.

"This is 100% your fault, by the way." You accused, fishing through your pockets for your wallet.

"i think it's equal blame." Sans grinned, then pushing your cash away when you pulled it out. "hey, i said that it was on me."

"Sans, I can pay-"

"hey grilbz! put that on my tab." Sans called out to the orange fire monster behind the bar, who crackled indignantly but nodded his head (was it classified as a head if it was just a pair of glasses floating on a ball of flames?). You crossed your arms over your chest. "don't give me that look, you can pay next time."

"Oh, I will." You jabbed a finger at his shoulder, then threw on your coat. "C'mon, I had a meeting with Marion fifteen minutes ago."

"don't worry, buddy." Sans winked. "i know a shortcut."

"How do you have a shortcut?" You said shortly, following him over to the door. "We took the most direct path from the-"

You halted your sentence, eyes flying around the familiar surroundings of your lab that you had definitely locked before you left. You spun around to look back at the door, catching a glimpse of the inside of Grillby's before Sans swung the door shut, watching you with a shit eating grin on his face. You sputtered, reaching over to open the door again, but it only showed the bright white of the lab hallway.

"What the fuckkkkk..." You managed, snapping your head over to Sans, who was looking way too amused for your liking. "You can teleport?!?"

"don't you have a meeting to run to?" He questioned cheekily. You cursed, running over to the bench to grab your things before returning to the door, glaring at the grinning skeleton leaning against its frame.

"I will get answers." You threatened, then ran from the room and down the hallway. 

Sans chuckled as he watched you go, his little eye lights following your rushing form until it disappeared behind a corner, only laughing a bit when you skidded and slammed into the wall after swinging around the bend a bit too fast.

"Enjoying y-yourself?"

"shut it." 


	7. In Which You Admit It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy, this boy is a long one.
> 
> enjoy!!!

"Okay, so lemme get this straight." You said, staring at the skeleton who was sprawled across the couch in your lab (he had brought it in at some point, you didn't ask). You didn't really notice when he started coming to hang out every so often, and now it was pretty commonplace to see him waltzing around the bio department. You swear you'd never seen the guy do even a bit of work. The skeleton on your (his?) couch nodded, not opening his eye sockets. "You have a PhD in astrophysics."

"mhm."

" _And_ another in mechanical engineering."

"mhm."

"You have an actual vacuum in your eye sockets."

"mhm."

"You're the most annoying person in the world."

"mhm."

"And you can teleport."

"...s'not teleporting."

"You know what I mean, Sans." You said and he shrugged and nodded. You groaned, running a hand through your hair and yanking on the ends. "And you're telling me there's another one of you??"

Sans actually laughed. It was rare to get more than a chuckle out of him, and his laugh was so full bellied and clear, so your curiosity was temporarily subsided by quiet pride. Then the curiosity came right back. The skeleton opened his eyes to look at you, his eye lights shining oddly.

"my bro's nothin' like me, so don't worry." He grinned, his gaze moving up towards the ceiling. He was like a stock image of relaxation by this point, hands resting behind his skull and dirty house slippers hanging loosely onto his feet as they dangled over the edge of the couch, a peaceful grin resting on his skull. "my bro and i are complete opposites. he's super energetic, and just, the coolest... oh! he's really into gardening at the moment. you'd like him."

You gave him a soft smile, watching Sans describe his brother with such passion was honestly pretty heartwarming, not to mention totally adorable. But you wouldn't tell him that. "Well, I'll have to meet him someday."

Sans hummed serenely, bouncing one of his legs up and down in thought. You watched him, waiting for the light bulb moment, and soon enough... 

"hey, you ever heard of gyftmas?" He questioned, rolling onto his side so he could face you properly. You put down the plant you were working on, trying to remember where you had heard it before. You vaguely remember hearing Alphys and Undyne discussing it at some point, but that was ages ago.

"Monster holiday?" You guessed, finally. Sans nodded.

"yeah. sorta like christmas up here, but it doesn't have some weird story of a guy being born attached." You rolled your eyes, but gestured for him to continue. "long story short, we all started giving this one random monster gifts, and eventually people started giving other people gifts, and now it's its own holiday."

"Hmm, that's a weird story. But I do admit Christmas is probably weirder." You admitted. "Anyway, why are you bringing it up?"

"well, uh... i was thinking. maybe you could come over and join us all?" Sans asked, watching your face carefully. "only if ya free, of course."

"I mean, I would love to, Sans, but I wouldn't want to intrude.." You said, fiddling with your hands absently. 

"it ain't a strictly family thing." Sans said dismissively. "i mean, kinda, but monster families kinda work a bit differently than humans. undyne and alph are gonna join us, too. maybe a few other people."

"Are you sure?" You asked cautiously.

"100% sure." Sans told you, noting your nervousness. "alphys and undyne pretty much already think you're family, and i want you to meet my brother."

Your heart did something funny at the thought of Alphys and Undyne calling you their family, but you supposed it was true. You did think of them as a family too, after all. Not to mention that Sans wanted you there, and you did _really_ want to see this mysterious brother of his. You took a deep breath, and nodded. 

"Sure, I'd love to go." You smiled, noticing the tiny switch Sans made to one of his true smiles. "You need to tell me all about it, though. I don't wanna look like a complete idiot."

 

Turns out that everybody in the monster kingdom celebrated gyftmas differently. When you asked Sans, he had told you about the gift giving and slumber party parts, but when you had asked Undyne and Alphys (who had exchanged a look™ when you had told them about how Sans had invited you) they had informed you that their favourite parts of the holiday were the snow fights/roughhousing and the movie marathon, respectively.

It was slightly stressful, and you had to consult Alphys more than a few times on gifts.

"You shouldn't p-put so much thought into it!" She said again. She said it every time you called her, stressing in a random department store or pouring through online shops. "It needs to be small and c-cheap."

"Yeah, I know that." You said, looking at the presents that you'd already bought, all sitting in a pile at the end of your bed. But there was still someone you hadn't been able to buy anything for. "I just... can't think of anything."

"O-oh? Struggling to think of the p-perfect gift for your boyfriend???" You could see her brows wiggling suggestively at you through the screen, and groaned.

"He's not my boyfriend, Alphys." You said once again. You swear, she'd probably said it every day since she'd caught you after your 'date' at Grillby's, and of course, Undyne had joined in and you were slowly going insane. "We're just friends. And he invited me to meet his brother and celebrate the holidays so I need to find a nice gift for him."

Alphys just gave you a look. You gave her a slightly more exaggerated look in return, and she groaned. "(Y/N). You're one of the smartest p-people I know, but sometimes you can be so s-stupid."

"Alphys-"

"He took you to his f-favourite restaurant, to which you said 'it's a date', and ever since then he's been t-talking about you non-stop," Alphys said, fixing you with a no-nonsense glare that made you shrink into your pillows even further. "Then, he invited you to m-meet his _family_ , who he is _very_ protective of, _and_ to spend the holidays _with him_ at his house?! And you're saying you're _just f-friends_???"

"Yes?"

"(Y/N)."

...

"Y-yeah... I know." You sighed, burying your face into a pillow and letting out a hollow groan. God, you really were an idiot, weren't you?

"Please tell me that you like him, too." Alphys said softly, and you slammed your face into the pillow repeatedly until you could let out a quiet 'yes'. The squeal that immediately emitted from your friend was way too high for the mic to pick up, which was probably a good thing for your ears. 

"What do I do?" You moaned pathetically.

"Undyne and I c-can help you!"

"Absolutely not!" You exclaimed, pouting. Then, you took a deep breath. In and out. "I like Sans. You think he likes me."

"He absolutely f-fucking likes you!"

You hushed her, moving to complete your thought. "We're both adults, and we can handle this by ourselves. Absolutely no anime-style shenanigans at gyftmas, is that understood?"

"Just a l-little?" She asked hopefully with those big eyes and little pout she always does when she really wants something, and you groaned.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't." You said and watched her little face light up. "BUT. Please wait until _after_ Sans and I talk this out. You tell that to Undyne, too. I know she's fucking watching."

"YOU KNOW IT!" Undyne shouted, her head popping out from under the desk. You rolled your eyes but listened to her and Alphys tease you for your 'crush' and go on about 'ship names' and what your babies would look like. At that last one, you cussed them out a bit and promptly ended the call, but you were still kind of happy. Just as you thought, a call with Alphys would help you with your present for Sans, even if it meant dealing with her mild bullying.

And by the next week, you were in Undyne's car with your sleeping bag, backpack and sack of presents containing the oh-so-important gift. You had managed to keep it a secret from Alphys, which was a feat in itself, but you had also managed to keep your cool around Sans in the work week leading up to gyftmas. Luckily for you, there were a bunch of field assignments you had gone in, and Sans had seemed actually busy with something for once, so you only saw him a few times. You just hoped that he didn't suspect anything.

Undyne's car pulled up to a random house in the monster district, but by the number of scorch marks and bones lying around the front garden (which was meticulously well-kept), you could kind of tell you were in the right place.

Upon putting the car in park, both Undyne and Alphys rounded on you, matching smirks. You just gave them a sweet smile, gathering your things and escaping before they could tease you any further and break the nerve you had carefully been building up during the ride. After gathering all of their things into her arms, Undyne lead you down the path to the front door, grinning.

"You're gonna love Papyrus, he's a PUNK just like you!" She said happily, then kneed the door a few times due to a lack of hands. You smiled at her, trying to hide your nerves. This Papyrus had been a source of these nerves for ages. If you didn't make a good impression, Sans would hate you forever and-

"UNDYNE! DR ALPHYS! NEW HUMAN!" The massive skeleton who had just opened the door greeted with boundless enthusiasm (and volume!) that shook you to your core. He was wearing some sort of... knitted body armour? "WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE! THE HUMBLE ABODE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS! IT IS VERY NICE TO BE SEEING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME! (NOT YOU TWO, THAT WAS DIRECTED AT THE HUMAN)."

"Thank you very much for having me, Papyrus." You smiled as Undyne and Alphys made their way inside. "Your brother told me so much about how great you are."

Papyrus' grin widened. "BUT OF COURSE, IT IS ONLY NATURAL TO PREPARE YOU FOR MY GREATNESS. GOOD THINKING, BROTHER!" Sans waved from the inside, where he was busy setting up an ancient-looking VCR player. "SANS HAS TOLD ME MUCH ABOUT YOU TOO, HUMAN!"

"Oh? Only good things, I hope." You said cheekily, and Papyrus huffed.

"WELL, CERTAINLY! HE TALKS CONSTANTLY ABOUT HOW NICE AND FUNNY YOU ARE! AND HOW HE-"

"hey paps." Sans appeared suddenly, making you jump. "undyne needs your help setting up the pillow fort. mind giving her a hand?"

"BUT OF COURSE!" Papyrus said happily, turning back to you for a second. "PLEASE, HUMAN, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME! (BUT ALSO, DON'T MAKE _YOURSELF_ A HOME. YOU ARE FINE THE WAY YOU ARE!!) NYEH HEH HEH"

With that, the tall skeleton ran off to aid Undyne, who promptly tackled the poor guy into the pile of pillows and blankets. You turned to Sans, who was starting to lose the faint blue colour dusting his cheekbones.

"uh, hey." He said, surprising you with how hesitant he sounded. Almost... shy? "why don't you come in?"

You realised that you were still standing in the doorway, and let out an embarrassed laugh, letting Sans lead you over to the living room where a large pile of presents was forming. You went over and deposited your gifts onto the pile, but carefully tucked the small envelope into your pocket when you were sure nobody was looking. When you stood back up, the blanket fort was already starting to take shape, complete with a mini fridge and snack table.

"Fancy pillow fort." You stated, ducking just in time to dodge a rogue pillow that Undyne had thrown at Papyrus. Sans just nodded, small beads of sweat starting to form at the crown of his skull. You sent Alphys a quick glance, to which she responded with a wink, and you rolled your eyes. Trying to calm your nerves, you turned to look at the skeleton beside you. He looked just about as nervous as you, but looked up when you finally spoke. "Hey... is there anywhere we can talk? Like, in private?" 

"backyard?" He said, and you nodded, following him through a kitchen and laundry until you reached the back door. You instantly felt better being outside, letting the cold wind hit your face in an attempt to calm your racing heart. Sans walked over and plopped down into a swinging deck chair, petting the seat beside him. As you sat down, he spoke. "haven't seen much'a you all week."

"Yeah, it usually gets pretty hectic right before the holidays, doesn't it?" You said. Sans just hummed. You took a deep breath. 

"I have something to confess."

"we need to talk."

You blinked, laughing slightly at the almost comical way things were turning out. Since when did your life become so cliche? Sans motioned for you to go ahead, seeming pretty chuffed as well.

"I... have something to confess." You managed to laugh, turning to look at him. "This might sound really stupid, but... Have we been going on dates all this time?"

Sans blinked. His face going blank for a full ten seconds before he could form a sentence. "i mean, uh... yes? at least i thought-"

"Oh thank god." You let out a sigh of relief, holding a hand up to your heart. Sans looked so lost. "I'm such an idiot. Oh my god! All this time I've been thinking you were just saying 'date' as a joke because I said it and-"

"did _you_ mean it as a joke?" Sans asked. You'd never seen the look on his face before, but you never wanted to again. His little eye lights had gone tiny, and his grin had flattened into more of a grimace.

"No! No!" You exclaimed loudly, waiting for his eyes to return to normal. "Oh my god, please don't hate me. I'm just really dumb and I've liked you for a while but I thought that you were just joking so I just went along with it but then Alphys told me I was an idiot and now as I'm saying this all out loud I realise how stupid I really am and... yeah."

There was a moment of dead silence as the Sans just stared at you. But then, he laughed. And when you said laughed, you meant _laughed_. You pouted, watching the skeleton wipe an actual tear out of his eye socket as he laughed at you.

"oh my stars... you have no idea how fucking scared i was!" He finally said, still laughing slightly. You cocked your head to the side, confused. "after i invited you to come and meet my brother, you slowly started acting weird. so i thought that maybe i'd rushed something, or... i dunno! but to think that you didn't even know we were dating??"

"I've already admitted to being an idiot, like, a billion times. Don't make me say it again." You pleaded, and Sans chuckled, all hints of nervousness gone. You thought for a moment about what he had said, about how he was so worried about you not liking him or something, and gasped. "I'm really sorry, Sans."

"please, (y/n), it's fine." He said, placing his hand on yours and interlocking his bony phalanges with your fleshy fingers. "as long as you let me take you on another date."

"Actually, I have a better idea." You said, a giddy smile on your face as you fished the little gift out of your pocket. The corner was bent slightly, and your handwriting was awful, but you held out the little envelope to Sans, his name printed out in your shitty handwriting. "I know that it's not really tradition to give it to you now, but this is kind of a moment."

Sans sent a cautious look up at your face, taking in your bright eyes as you waited excitedly, and took the gift from you. Ripping open the seal carefully, he opened it to reveal...

"tickets?" He asked curiously, flipping them over to inspect them further.

"To the observatory downtown." You said a bit shyly. "It can be like... an official first date? One where we both know that it's a date, at least."

Sans grinned, tucking the tickets back into the envelope and carefully placed it down. "heh, sounds like a plan."

"It's a date." You said cheekily, and laughed as Sans rolled his eyes. 

 

Alphys and Undyne hadn't stopped staring at the two of you since you'd come back inside (you'd accidentally sat holding hands in the cold for too long and now you were fucking freezing). Sans and you were now huddled together on the couch under a pile of blankets that one of the other three would occasionally steal to add to the fort that was still in construction. You would think that a skeleton would make for a pretty bad snuggle buddy, but his body emitted some kind of warmth (magic, probably) and his bones were pretty comfortable, for the most part.

"I don't have the faintest idea of how that's staying up." You muttered, staring at the complex building that Undyne and Papyrus had built with careful instruction from Alphys. It was entirely made of pillows and blankets (no chairs for support) and was staying upright through the power of physics alone apparently. Sans chuckled.

"they always try and out-do themselves each year." Sans explained, tracing a bony finger along your palm under the blankets. "last year had a second story."

"I don't even want to know how that one ended up." You said, imagining the second story collapsing in the middle of the night and crushing people.

There was a knock on the door, and Papyrus and Undyne raced off to answer, throwing punches and kicks in their attempts to get there first. Alphys sighed, straightening her 'ugly gyftmas sweater' that was a mixture of cats and bows and 100% atrocious. "That must b-be the others..."

"Others?" You questioned, but Sans just shook his head, both eyes closed in a mock sleep. It didn't seem to matter, though, as the 'others' soon came in and you immediately got your answer. Papyrus led the King and Queen of monsters into the living room, the child Ambassador, Frisk, hanging from the King's horns. Your hand instinctively tightened around Sans', and you began to envy his 'pretend to be asleep' strategy.

"Oh! Greetings, Dr (Y/N)." The Queen spotted you first, in your pile of blankets, and gave you a little wave. The King turned to greet you as well, and my god, this day could _not_ get more stressful. 

"Nice to see you again, your majesties!" You squeaked.

"Please, Doctor. This is a family celebration." The King smiled. "It wouldn't do to have you addressing us so formally."

You just nodded, glancing at Sans for some modicum of help, but the bastard was still 'sleeping'. Seemingly out of nowhere, Frisk jumped off from Asgore, sailing through the air in a perfect arch to land on top of the skeleton in question, forcing a surprised yelp from him. You couldn't help but laugh, serves him right for abandoning you like that.

"Frisk! Do be gentle!" Toriel (it felt weird calling her that, even in your mind) scolded, but didn't seem too concerned generally.

'sans! is this your new girlfriend?' The ambassador signed, and the two of you flushed bright red and blue. Frisk perked up when you reacted, ignoring Sans' complaints. 'you can sign?'

'i knew somebody who was deaf.' you replied, but you were a bit rusty. Your hand movements were clunky and unpracticed. Sheepishly, you signed: 'i don't remember everything'

Frisk grinned, seemingly happy to have another person to talk to. It must be hard for them, having to have others translate their words. You smiled back.

'so are you sans' girlfriend?'

This time, Sans did complain loud enough to shoo them away, and they ran off to their mother with a mischievous grin on their tiny face. You giggled, lying back into him as he interlocked your fingers again. Alphys wiggled her brows in your direction, and you flipped her off with your free hand. Hopefully Frisk didn't see that.

For the remaining time before the actual holiday traditions started, you tried to make yourself useful. You helped Papyrus and Toriel in the kitchen for a bit, but the barrage of cooking puns that Sans was putting out (while hilarious to you) was causing his poor brother a near mental breakdown. So, you removed the both of you from that situation and instead worked with Alphys to pick the order of movies you would watch after gifts and dinner. It was all very difficult, because everyone had brought their own movies and most of them were on different mediums (DVD, VCR, Underflix) so you had to coordinate the order that people wanted to watch it while also making sure there wasn't too much waffling with different machines between movies.

By the time you had created a good game plan, dinner was served. Undyne brought in a massive dining table from somewhere (?) and everyone scrambled to get the good seats. You ended up sandwiched between Frisk and Sans, which was cool because you got to talk to Frisk more, but also a nightmare since Sans was tormenting them with pranks the whole way through. You supposed it was payback for the call out, so you didn't interfere.

Finally, it was time for gifts. 

It seemed gyftmas was much less structured than human Christmas in many ways. It was more of a 'grab yours and open your pile on your own' than an 'i got you this, now let me watch you open it and stress if you like it or not' deal. And you had actually got a pretty good haul! Even if the presents weren't really labelled with who it was sent from, the wrapping gave it away somewhat. And by looking at the last box in your pile, sloppily covered in tin foil that had a few holes in places, you knew that it was from Sans.

When you removed the foil, you took a moment to examine the clear box inside. It contained a tiny potted flower, but instead of the regular green, it was a brilliant bright blue, even the stem!

"it's called an echo flower." Sans said from behind you, making you jump. He grinned. "they only grow in waterfall. when you touch em' they say the last thing it heard."

Cautiously, maybe a little sceptically, you removed the tiny covering from the flower and gave one of its petals a little poke. You startled when a tiny voice emitted from the plant, high pitched but obviously Sans' voice: 'cool or what?' You laughed.

"It's so cool..." You whispered, covering the tiny blossom back up with its case and grinning at the skeleton beside you. "I love it, thank you."

Out of nowhere, a hanging plant descended between the two of you. Sans stared at it, confused, but you knew what it was instantly.

"Alphys..." You groaned, turning to fix your friend (probably not your friend after this). 

"You know the r-rules!" The woman replied gleefully, and you could see Undyne cackling behind her. 

"what rules?" Sans questioned.

"You get caught under the mistletoe, you have to SMOOCH!" Undyne roared with laughter, and you threw a balled up wad of wrapping paper at her. Papyrus, Toriel and Asgore looked completely lost, while Alphys, Undyne and Frisk (little traitor!) were grinning evilly. Sans was starting to sweat. "C'mon NERDS!"

"look, i ain't just gonna-"

Sans was cut off by you quickly pressing a tiny peck on his cheek. Immediately after, you dived into the mountain of blankets for cover, burying your embarrassment under as many pillows as you could find.

You didn't get to see Sans' reaction before your dive, but you could hear all of the squealing from your two 'friends' and that was enough of that for tonight. 

Oh, you'd get them _back_ someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hate slow burn stories!!! i just want to skip to the fluffy parts!!!
> 
> let me know about your opinions please!!!!! uwu


	8. In Which It's Date o'clock!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the iconic date chapter™!!!! i was debating doing more with the gyftmas arch but i was coming up blank in terms of ideas so i just decided to go without it. there's probably going to be a few more times where the whole gang is together, so don't fear!  
> but anyway!!! the date!!! i'm really bad at writing romance!!! which is why i'm using this to practice!!!!  
> if you have any critiques, please let me know in the comments. this story doesn't really have a set-in-stone direction, so if y'all have ideas you wanna share or you literally just wanna scream in the comments go ahead! ANARCHY!!!

You stood outside the planetarium almost a week after gyftmas. The wind was still biting against your skin, but it had warmed up enough to melt any snow that did fall. Sans had texted you that he was almost there, which was surprising since it seemed he was actually going to be on time for once. You wouldn't say that you were nervous, exactly, but you weren't entirely confident in your dating prowess, either. Alphys had just said to 'be yourself', which was _sooo_ helpful.

"hey."

"Oh my god!" You jumped, looking up at Sans. "Would you stop doing that?!"

"your reaction is too good, babe." He said cheekily. You felt your cheeks heat up at the affectionate name, which you were sure he noticed. Cocky little shit. You took him in for a moment. He was wearing his usual hoodie and basketball shorts, but he'd traded his favourite house slippers for a pair of scuffed blue sneakers. And, he was wearing cologne? You weren't wearing anything special, but the heeled boots you were wearing made you slightly taller than usual.  

"Anyway." You said pointedly, pulling the two tickets out of his hand. "How about we get started?"

"oh, yeah." Sans said, staring up at the massive domed roof of the building as the two of you walked through the doors. "it's a wonder i've never been, huh?"

You grinned, inwardly proud of yourself as you watched him look around the room with quiet awe. The whole room was very dark, glow-in-the-dark stars scattered around the ceiling with constellation lines connecting them all. There were a few things hanging around as well; there was a model space station, a few different satellites, and most of the planets were floating around somewhere, 'orbiting' the large glowing sun in the center of the massive circular room. While he absorbed the atmosphere (ha) you made your way over to the counter and scanned your tickets. By the time you made it back to him, he was smiling. A genuine smile, not the usual one he wears. Your chest made a funny feeling at the sight.

"Enjoying yourself?" You asked.

"so many pun opportunities..." He whispered. You rolled your eyes, but at this point, you weren't sure what you were expecting.

"Well I'd hope so." You stated, reaching out to interlock your hands. "If I'm not ready to throw myself out of a window by the end of this date I'll be severely disappointed."

"oh, i didn't expect the _gravity_ of the situation." 

"It begins."

 

The two of you made your way around the exhibits slowly. Today really wasn't a busy day, being the middle of the week, so you were able to take your sweet time. Sans wanted to read everything, even if he probably knew it all, then he tried to explain it to you as best as he could without delving into a rant about calculations and orbits and _physics_. Keyword: trying. You didn't mind. After all, you had probably talked his ear off about your hyper fixations more times than you could count, and it was pretty cute watching him ramble about space and stuff.

Sans seemed especially interested in the exhibit on the international space station. He watched the little videos of astronauts floating around and making massive water bubbles with amazement, and you told him all about how they're doing so many cool experiments up there to do with long term space survival and exploration. Then he asked you a bunch of questions about the science of that, and you had to remind him of your absolute lack of physics knowledge. 

"oh, this is something i don't know about." He stated, and you leaned over to read the plaque he was staring at.

"Constellations?" You asked, turning to face him. He looked at you expectantly, a round look to his eye sockets. "They're... oh god, how do I explain them? They're like, stars. That we group together to look like shapes. Look." You raised your interlocked hands to point at the ceiling where all the stars were glittering brightly. "There's Orion. He was a hunter that made a god angry, so she turned him into a constellation. And there's the Big Dipper... I'm pretty sure that it's just a spoon?"

Sans hummed in acknowledgement, then moved your hands to point at a vague horse looking one. "whatta 'bout that one?"

"I think that's one's Pegasus?" You said, squinting. "Flying Horse."

Sans laughed at that, and you pouted. You didn't know a lot about the stars, but you tried your best to list the ones you knew from your childhood. Sans stayed mostly silent, listening to your explanations with peaked interest.

"humans are... pretty cool. sometimes." He said once you had finished your list. You gave him a confused look and he chuckled. "they look up the sky and give names to stars. it's... cute." Sans paused again, thinking about his words. "when us monsters were underground, we had these shiny crystals that grew on the roof of the caverns in waterfall. they looked a lot like stars, but they're nothing like the real thing."

You smiled, watching him peel his eyes away from the ceiling and rest on you.

"when we all first saw them, on that first day..." He trailed off, those tiny white pinpricks studying your face carefully. "it was the best day of my life, i think. seeing them, and watching everyone see them for the first time." 

You gave his hand a small squeeze. These moments with Sans when he was serious, when he was telling you about his life and his feelings, they were rare. You could sit and listen to him speak for hours on end without any interruptions. Of course, you knew that you were jinxing yourself because as soon as you thought about it, a woman bumbled up to cut through the moment you were having.

"Oh my God! (Y/N), is that you?" The woman asked, her blonde hair bouncing as she strode towards you, a toddler balanced on her hip. Sans shot you a look, but you just shrugged. "Don't tell me that you've forgotten about me already! We went to school with each other for _years_."

Suddenly, the dots connected. "Becca?"

"You do remember me!" She squealed, pulling you in for a surprise hug. "How are you? How've you been?"

"G-good??" You said, confused. You hadn't spoken to Becca since she had asked out your boyfriend to prom and blocked your number, so you weren't really understanding why she was being so nice to you. 

"Obviously, girl! I saw you on TV the other month with Mettaton and-" Ah, of course. She'd seen you succeeding and decided to come crawling back. You sent Sans a distressed look, and it seemed that your 'old friend' finally noticed your company. "Oh my goodness! What is that?"

You didn't like that tone at all. But before you could interject, she glanced down at your interlocked hands and gasped. "Oh, (Y/N), don't tell me that you're...  _involved_ with it?"

"As a matter of fact, I am." You replied, bristling. Sans stayed silent and you _hated_ how _used to this_ he seemed. Becca gave you a forlorn look that felt very condescending, her painted lips quirking down into a pointed frown as she adjusted the toddler further up her hip. 

"You could do so much better, girl." She said. Maybe it was the look on your face or her obvious discomfort around monsters, but she seemed in a hurry to get away. "I've got to run, call me sometime?"

With that, she hurried off, and you resisted the urge to call out things that you would _much rather do_ than call her. Sans' hand found your shoulder, and you frowned. "I'm so sorry about her." You groaned. "She's awful and we haven't talked in years and she's just ruined this entire thing and-"

"s'not ruined." Sans said carefully, but you could see the way he couldn't meet your eyes. "i've had my fair share of experiences like that."

"That makes me feel worse!" You groaned.

Sans sighed, pulling you in for a hug. You could tell that he was hurt, you could feel it, but you really wanted this date to go well, and moping wasn't gonna fix anything. You wrapped your arms around him, stuffing your face into his shoulder. The cologne that you had smelt earlier was even stronger now, something piney and smokey. You let the smell and the soft pulsing of his magic calm your racing heart.

"i wish things could be different." Sans said quietly, and you nodded into him. The monsters had fundamental rights, but tensions were starting to grow among humans. Toriel and Asgore had told you all about their work with the government, and it wasn't going well. There were protests occasionally, even a bomb threat just the other day. The monsters didn't like to talk about it much, but they were growing weary. "wish i was a bit more of a looker, so we didn't have to put up with any of that."

"Sans." You grumbled, pulling yourself out of the safety of his hoodie to look at him directly. "You're beautiful."

Sans sighed. "you don't hafta say that just because-"

"No, Sans. You're beautiful." You stated firmly, bringing your hands up to cradle his jaw. Staring at his eyes, you faltered. They were so expressive, you could see the sorrow that he carried in them, now that you were really looking. "Your eyes... They look like stars."

"...what?" He asked breathlessly, almost offended. You let out a soft laugh.

"Tiny white lights shining in a see of endless black. So clear yet so far away..." You muttered, looking deep into his eyes. They were so expressive considering that he was made of bone. You could see his disbelief etched into every crevice of his sockets. "For hundreds of years, humans didn't really understand what they were. We still don't, but... I get that feeling whenever I look at them. An ancient mystery..."

Sans opened his mouth slightly, but for the first time since you'd met him, he seemed truly lost for words. You gave his hand a little squeeze, smiling.

"nobody's ever said that to me." He whispered, studying you for any hint of deception. When he found none, he chuckled. "you're really somethin', ain'tcha?"

"I try my best." You admitted lightly, causing that grin of his to finally return. He reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and the motion was so careful, so soft, your heart skipped a beat.

"y'know that i can't really do a lot of the stuff humans can." Sans said, honestly. "i can't promise that it'll be smooth sailing."

"And why would that be a bad thing?" You asked, smiling fondly. Sans sighed, finally seeming to let up.

"how am i going to top this for our next date?" He asked himself, worried, and you laughed, trying not to squeal at the thought of how he'd mentioned a 'next date'.

"Maybe, like, ten ice sculptures." You suggested, and he actually _snorted_.

"oh, c'mon." He said, finally getting himself under control. "i'd have to get at least twenty. live band. candlelit dinner. the whole shebang. i'll call mettaton or something."

"Now you're talking." You grinned, letting him explain to you all of the details of this amazing 'second date' as the two of you wandered outside, hand in hand.

 

 


	9. In Which The Dangers of Alcohol Are Explored

The text you'd received from Sans worried you slightly. Maybe it was just you, but 'come downstairs, i gotta surprise' always puts you on edge. You don't like surprises, you don't like not being prepared for things if you can help it. Sans knows this, of course. He's just a little shit.

So you took the elevator down to the lobby area, waving hello to the hand-shaped receptionist, Debbie, all while looking around for any sign of this 'surprise'.

Turns out, the surprise was hunting you down, too.

"HUMAN!" Papyrus cheered gleefully from behind you, scaring the shit out of you in the process. "SANS HAS FINALLY INVITED ME ON A FABLED 'BRING YOUR BROTHER TO WORK DAY'! WE HAVEN'T HAD ONE SINCE WE WORKED TOGETHER IN SNOWDIN!"

Ignoring that confusing anecdote, you brightened. "Oh, sweet! I wish I'd known, I could've set up something for you to see!" Sans ignored the very pointed look you shot him, but you knew the point was made clear. 

"THAT'S FINE! ALPHYS HAS SET UP MANY JAPES FOR US TO SOLVE!" Papyrus grinned mysteriously.

You blinked at him, muttering: "us?.."

Well, that was until Undyne crash landed on your back and knocked you to the ground. "BRING YOUR BESTIE TO WORK DAY, PUNK!"

 

Turns out that most of the crew had been invited to look around the lab for the day. Frisk and Toriel were absent, as it was a school day, but Papyrus, Undyne and Asgore had managed to fit the visit into their schedules. It was supposed to be a formal visit, the king inspecting progress on the Core and overseeing everyone working there, but it ended up as more of an informal tour with Papyrus and Undyne asking a million questions about each and everything that they saw and Asgore being all strong-and-silent typey.

Sans seemed content to let Alphys lead the way and watch his brother have fun, falling into step with you and only butting in to make the occasional science pun. You observed this with a smile. The way his eyes shined whenever he looked at his younger brother was adorable, and it seemed to be one of those moments where he was fully relaxed. He eventually noticed your staring, though, and reached over to take your hand in his. Yeah, this was an arrangement you could deal with, you thought peacefully.

You were glad that Alphys and Undyne were preoccupied with the tour (Alphys _was_ showing off quite a bit) because you and Sans were really pushing it and you didn't wanna ruin the moment. Eventually, though, you had to break apart when the group headed into the Bio Department and you had to take the lead.

"Because we haven't got much staff here in biology, we all have our own offices and labs." You explained, nodding to the windows you were passing that showed the different rooms. "This, my dear friends, is mine."

As the group took in the room, Papyrus admiring the many cat posters, Asgore seemed particularly interested in the wide array of Underground plants that you'd accumulated, bringing a hulking paw up to trace the petal of a golden flower gently. "And what kind of work would you be doing in here, Doctor?"

"Recently I've been working on creating classifications for Underground flora. Marion, our zoologist is doing the same for any fauna just two doors down." You said. Asgore nodded, smiling down at you (he had to crane his neck down slightly to keep his horns from butting against the ceiling). "It's proving slightly difficult, what with all of the new variables that magic creates. And since they don't photosynthesize, I've been trying to find out how they gather energy and... it's coming along slowly."

"I'm sure you are very busy." Asgore concludes, and you nod with a shy smile. Almost sheepishly, he starts again. "I've been meaning to ask, actually, for your assistance with surface flowers. If it is not too much hassle, of course."

"Well, certainly. I'd be happy to help!" You said, bringing out your phone to add his number. "I've heard that you have quite the green thumb yourself. We could be gardening buddies!"

This seems to brighten the king considerably, and with it the mood of the tour rose quite a bit, too. And even after you moved on from your area of the building, he continued to grill you on surface botany. You, of course, were more than happy to oblige, telling him all about the nuisances that came with the plants in the Ebott region. You only acknowledged Sans when he appeared beside you to take your hand, right at the end of the tour, his smile wide but his eyes uneasy. 

"hey, alph. me and (y/n) are gonna head out early, heading over to grillby's." He said casually. Alphys and Undyne sent the two of you a look, but otherwise seemed about ready to do the exact same thing. You said your final goodbyes to everyone, giving Papyrus an extra 'friendship hug' and reminding Asgore to text you with any questions. By the time both of you had reached the parking lot, you finally voiced your concerns.

"Okay, so. Not that I don't love this impromptu date you'd set up, but what was all that about?" You asked, and watched Sans let out a heavy sigh, as if he really didn't want you to be curious about that. You allowed him a moment to collect his thoughts properly, enjoying the biting wind against your face as you strolled down the street towards the pub.

"i just really don't like asgore." Is what he settled on, and you huffed.

"Gonna need a bit more context than that, babe." You said, silently enjoying the way he visibly relaxed at the name. Still, the rigid body language that he adopted whenever he didn't really wanna talk was still evident in his frame, just barely noticeable. 

"long story. probably one that you already know." When you didn't show any signs of recognition, he sighed. "the six kids."

Ah. That story. 

With the calming presence that Asgore seems to constantly exude, its sometimes easy to forget that he murdered six children for his kingdom.

"Yeah." You said, finally. "Understandable. With all he's done."

"then you understand why i don't really like you hanging around him." He replied, eye lights scanning your face. "or, uh... being 'gardening buddies' with him."

The attempt at a joke fell flat, and you frowned. "Well, I believe he's sorry for what he's done. And that's what matters."

"babe, he killed six kids-"

"And that isn't something I'm supposed to punish him for." You stated slowly, frowning. Sans didn't look particularly happy, either. "Sans, just because someone does something bad, doesn't mean that they're bad. It's not my job to remind him of what he's done. But if talking to him about flowers makes him forget for a bit, then I'm happy to do it."

Sans stared up at you for a moment. You stared back. The two of you had reached Grillby's by now, but were loitering outside the door to finish your talk. Finally, Sans sighed. 

"you're too nice sometimes, y'know that?" His smile slowly crept back, and you grinned back at him.

"I don't there's such thing as _too_ nice." You replied, nodding towards the door beside you. You wanted to start your surprise date, after all, not stand around and talk about morally grey kings. "Now let's get inside, I want a fucking burger."

 

Grillby's was, as always, spectacular. The food was delicious (you were starting to get used to the feeling of your mouthfuls dissolving as you swallowed) and this time you'd even tried a few of the magic alcoholic drinks. They were amazing, and Grillby was one hell of a bartender (he was throwing fucking bottles around, what the hell!!!), but very strong. By the end of the night, you were more than a little tipsy.

"Oh god, I really need to stop." You muttered, glancing up at the smug skeleton beside you. Unlike you, he was obviously not a lightweight. "This stuff is dangerous, man."

"that it is, _man_." He said cheekily, grunting as he hopped off the stool and helped you to your feet. To your satisfaction, he didn't let go of your hand. "grilbz, put it on my tab. gotta get the lady home safe."

The quiet fire elemental sputtered indignantly, and even though you couldn't understand him, you knew it was just a good-natured tease. He waved goodbye as the two of you ~~stumbled~~ walked towards the door, and you leaned heavily on Sans' shoulder.

"Can we walk, babe?" You said, only a slight hint of a slur on your voice. "It's finally getting warm again."

Sans just shrugged, a bemused expression on his skull as he leads you out of the bar. You were still leaning on him, and you were an awfully cute drunk. As always, though, he quickly looked up to the sky out of habit. Night had fallen during the time that'd you'd been inside, and though the city hid most, a few stronger lights were still shining bright. "stars are pretty tonight."

"Mhm." You said, then grinned. "Not as pretty as you, though."

Oh, you liked the way he flushed. It was a dark blue against the stark white of his cheekbones, and it only served to make him seem even prettier.

"heh. thanks. you're pretty, too." He managed to get out, and you giggled. Oh no, tipsy you was a giggler. 

The two of you fell into companionable silence, just strolling down the main streets towards the suburban area you lived in, holding hands. Slowly, you started swinging your interlocked hands with a bit more force, making the sway in between you and throwing both of your balances out. Eventually, though, your drunk ass finally succumbs to the pull and you stumbled forward. Your mind was blank as you sailed down to the cement, and you could only vaguely pull your hands out to catch yourself before Sans, in an amazing and cliche heroic moment, reached out and caught you.

"Omg." You said, a massive grin stretching across your face. Sans' grin, just inches from yours, started cracking as the hilarity of the situation sunk in.

"you just can't help falling for me, can ya?" He asked smugly, his eye lights bright as he stared down at you. 

"My prince charming." You swooned, trying and failing to contain your giggles. Then, you turned mischievous."I must say, I thought you'd have more hair..."

"hey!"

Although thoroughly scandalized, he was still laughed. That full bellied laugh that only happened on rare occasions. You could feel the tremors of his shoulders shaking run through you (he still hadn't let you go, after all) and you couldn't help but let the biggest, goofiest grin on your face as you stared up at this beautiful man.

Sans, noticing the slight mood change, finally slowed his laughter down to a halt, but that amazing smile was still there. And he was looking at you with those eyes that looked like stars and ancient mysteries and he was getting closer and closer and you shut your eyes and-

"Hey!"

Just as quickly as it had started, the mood was ended. Sans pulled you up and then even closer into his side, you could see who had called out, and... Well, you winced.

This guy looked rough, with a scruffy beard and an unhinged look in his heavily hooded eyes. Now, you'd been told that you were an awful judge of character, that you trusted too easily, but even you could tell that this guy was bad news. His posture was low and uncoordinated, the amber liquid in the glass bottle sloshing violently as he sauntered towards the two of you.

"hey now. easy there, bucko." Sans called out. God, he was so calm and you were just standing there, frozen.

" _Easy_ yourself, freak." The man spat out. The heavy slur on his voice indicated that he'd probably been drinking for a while, probably even more than what was gone from the bottle in his hand. Said bottle was now being pointed semi-threateningly at you both. "Hands off the lady."

"Thank you very much for your concern." You said, trying your best to keep your shaky voice even. "But we're fine, man. Don't need your help."

Your subtle attempts at peacekeeping were apparently for nought. This guy was way too drunk to listen to rational arguments. He just grumbled, jabbing a finger at you and stumbled over himself at the force of the action. "Wasn't asking." He muttered, stepping forward. Sans pulled you somehow closer into his side, and you began to feel the now familiar feeling of magic buzzing through his bones. You shot him a look, but he already knew. You knew. Sans wouldn't attack unless provoked. The guy just snorted, a manic look in his eyes as he regarded you. "You freaks think that can just... just come up here and take our land... steal our women... I won't fucking stand for it."

"buddy, i'm gonna have to ask ya to calm down." Sans said, practically a growl. "you and i both walk away and i don't call the police, capiche?"

"As if the police would listen to _you_!" He snarled, grinning. "I've seen the forums... I'm informed... You're the weakest monster out there..."

Your heart dropped, something in your chest just plummeted. You didn't know if this guy was calling a bluff, but you sure as hell didn't wanna test it. You tugged on Sans' hoodie sleeve, whispering into where his ear would be, "let's just leave, babe. I don't like this..."

"I wonder..." The guy whispered, as you began to drag the skeleton away, his eyes flashing. "If monsters truly turn to _dust_ if they die."

Something happened, time just snapped. All of a sudden, this man had dashed forward, smashed the glass in his hand on the brick wall beside him and swung. It came dangerously close to slicing at your chest, so close that the alcohol still left in the bottle sprayed across your jacket in little droplets. You were still slightly drunk, and the guy was getting up to take another try.

And then he wasn't getting up.

Sans, oh my god. Sans was standing between the two of you, one hand holding yours deathly tight, the other awash with cerulean flames. With a flick of his bony wrist, the drunk guy's entire body was glowing blue, and the broken bottle he'd just used to nearly kill you flew out of his hand and into a nearby dumpster. This, of course, did not make him a very happy chappy.

"YOU FUCKING FREAK! LET GO 'A ME!" He was thrashing against the magic but to no avail. Whatever Sans was doing, he was clearly not going anywhere. "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I'LL KILL AND YOUR DIRTY WHORE!"

Suddenly, the man was no longer on the ground. Now, he was suspended a few feet off the pavement, cursing and flailing around wildly. 

"buddy. do me a favour." Sans' voice was casual, but you couldn't fight the shiver that made its way down your spine. There was something off, and you could practically feel the rage billowing off of him in waves. The guy looked up to bark more insults, but something made him fall dead quiet. You tightened your grip on Sans' hand. He shot you a glance, then turned back to your attacker, practically growling. "don't let me every fucking see your face again. anywhere near here. anywhere near _her_. you hear me? or i'll make sure you have a  b a d   f u c k i n g   t i m e ."

Then, the man was slammed into the ground. Hard.

"Sans." You whispered, still fucking shaking. Sans immediately spun around, pulling in and holding you close. 

"let's get outta here, hey?"

And then, you were gone, leaving the drunk guy a groaning mess on the pavement. 

 


	10. In Which You Get It On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ROMANCE. DRAMA. SMUT. (BLOODSHED?) (NAH!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning! i wasn't sure if i wan't smut in this story but eh, might as well give it a shot. if you're too young to be reading smut, then scat! get out! (but i ain't the police, do whatever you want!)

As soon as your feet touched solid ground, and you were no longer in the strange in-between place that Sans used to transport himself, you rounded on him. 

"Oh my god, Sans." You said, still clutching the sleeves of his hoodie tight. The look on his face, you didn't know how to describe it. Maybe just, pensive? Worried? Whatever, you had more important matters to attend to. "Are you alright?" 

"what? oh. yeah. i'm fine." Sans said, bringing his hands up to hold onto your shoulders. "i should be asking you that."

"We should both be asking each other that." You replied quietly, staring deep into his eyes. You still couldn't place that emotion. "We _were_ just attacked. Or, uh, attacking."

Sans groaned, falling back into the couch behind him. Finally, in the back of your mind, you realised that you were in your house, and flopped onto the couch next to him. When you looked up, that look was back. "What's going on? Are you hurt?"

"no, no." He insisted, clutching your hand tight. He finally turned towards you, and you finally placed that emotion. He was scared. "i, just... you shouldn't have seen that."

"The guy?" You asked, brows furrowed. "Sans, I've seen my fair share of assholes over the years. And a few fights. I promise I'm fine."

"not the guy." He sighed, eye lights flicking back to the floor to avoid yours. "me. i shouldn't have lost control like that. didn't mean to scare you..."

You blinked. Then, you laughed. Sans looked back up in confusion, and you slapped a hand onto his arm to stabilize yourself. You were damn near falling off the couch! Finally, you pulled yourself together, breathing heavy with the skeleton next to you thoroughly lost for words.

"Sans you idiot. You didn't think I would be scared by magic, did you?" You asked, grinning. Sans, wide eyes and slightly off-kilter, nodded, and you had to roll your eyes. "Babe, if I was scared by magic, I would've high tailed it outta there the moment I met Alphys, or hell, Undyne! Do you know how many 'training sessions' I've been through? The ones where she just throws spears at me until I pass out"

Sans seemed to ponder this, and very slowly, a sheepish look started forming on his skull. "heh... guess i didn't really think."

"Yeah, bonehead. You know I'd never be scared of magic. Especially if it's coming from you." You said honestly, if not a little mushily. Sans smiled, and you grinned. "Even more so if it's my _prince charming_ saving me from a rogue villain."

This, finally, makes him laugh. You swell with pride.

"speaking of that." He said, that cheeky look back on his face. "what were we doing before that asshole showed up?"

You blinked. 

Oh.

The blush that spread across your cheeks only made his ego even more inflated, and you just couldn't have that.

"Well, if I remember correctly..." You said softly, just barely above a whisper. "Your hands were about here." You guided his hands down to your waist, enjoying the pleased look on his face now that you were playing along. Yeah, you were more confident tonight, whether it was the drinks or the adrenaline you didn't quite know. "And mine were right here." You smiled sweetly, snaking your hands behind his neck, delicately tracing a finger slowly down the arch of his cervical vertebrae, delighting in the slight shiver it produced down his spine. 

Your faces were so close, just barely separated by millimetres of empty space. But you didn't close the gap yet. Not just yet.

"Now." You murmured, staring into his eyes. He was staring straight back, of course, a big grin painted across his skull as he watched you do your little act. You grinned. "Where were we?"

Sans didn't hesitate.

There were lips against yours, soft and buzzing with magic and you couldn't bring yourself to even care about the hundreds of hows that your brain was producing. All you were thinking about was the lips on yours and the person they were attached to.

Sans was a surprisingly good kisser. You didn't mean that in a mean way, of course, just that you hadn't expected him to even have lips, much less a good set of them and a... a tongue! Your brain was malfunctioning with all of this, probably, because when you had to break apart for air you were basically incoherent.

"Woah..." Was all you could come up with. 

"what's the matter?" Sans' grin stretched like the damn Cheshire Cat. "skeleton got your tongue?"

You pouted, but the effect was negated by the fact that your breathing was still pretty heavy. Sans seemed to be enjoying himself, at least.

"Hey, I'm not the one with a raging _boner_." 

That wiped the smirk off his face.

Good.

But then, oh god, now he was looking sad.

"listen, i know that this is going fast." He said, and you frowned, gripping his hand tight. "and, uh... i'm a skeleton. so, if you don't feel comfortable being... intimate. i understand, alright?"

Goddammit, you were going to throttle him.

"Sans." You said, seriously. With how easily the two of you switch moods, it's hard to believe that just moments ago you were making out. Now... "Do you not want to have sex with me because I'm human?"

"what? no!" Sans replied instantly. "i just know that you're fucking gorgeous and i'm not exactly the ideal body type and-"

You cut him off with another kiss. This time, it seems that he doesn't have enough time to form these magic lips, and you press your lips against his teeth. Honestly, you didn't mind, but as soon as you leaned back Sans came back in to kiss you properly. You smiled into the kiss, but didn't let him escalate any further. You had to _talk_ to him, after all.

"Sans. For someone who's so smart, you can be the biggest idiot sometimes." You said, grinning. Your hands came up to cradle his jaw, and you looked into his eyes. God, he was so unsure. "You're my ideal body type, bonehead."

Sans sucked in a breath, which you weren't sure if he actually needed. No lungs. Then, he shook his head. "so you, uh... like 'em bony?"

You grinned, trailing a fingertip against the edge of his jawbone. You bit your lip. "Can I show you?"

Sans just nodded, and you stood up, pulling him with you and dragging him down the hall towards your bedroom. When you looked back at him, all giddy nerves and excitement, you just saw pure adoration. And fuck, you were hooked.

The moment the two of you dropped down onto the mattress, your lips were back on his, and your jackets were both on the floor. He was hungry, maybe even a bit needy, but you had a point to prove. You slowly made your way down from his mouth, kissing along his jaw, all the while running your fingers over the bumps of his ribs under the shirt and listening to the quickening of his little breaths. When you reached his neck, you noticed a pair of hands tugging on the bottom of your shirt, and quickly backed up to pull it off, along with his.

Suddenly, this was getting real.

Sans stared at you, your skin lit by moonlight and your hair a mess from where his phalanges had run through them. You wondered, briefly, if he liked this, liked _you_. But then you took a second to look into his eyes and there was nothing but wonder. You flushed.

"you're so fucking beautiful..." He said breathily, almost a growl, and something primal in you melted. All of a sudden, cocky Sans was back in action, and you were on your back and he was on top of you, his bones illuminated only by the blue light of night outside, and everything was amazing. He leaned down and kissed you, all the while there was one bony leg between your thighs and slowly you were going crazy just lying there.

But then, there was a pair of hands behind your back and he was tugging at your bra, desperate. You heard him make a little grunt of confusion and grinned up at him.

"Babe, its a hook. Push then pull." You were barely containing laughter, but then when he managed to get it and he made a little hum of satisfaction you were a giggling mess. "Good work, babe - fuckkk!"

Sans had chosen that moment to bring his mouth down on one breast, his tongue - my god, his tongue - sucking and toying with your nipple as his hand worked on teasing the other. You were so glad that you were alone in the house, as some of these noises you were making were _very_ embarrassing. 

Finally, you were done just lying there. You blindly reached out, hand flailing on his ribs, then his spine, and then - 

"ngh!"

Bingo.

Somehow, your favourite skeleton was packing a very human feeling penis, but you didn't care about logistics right now. You just wanted to hear the noise he had made one more time. He was putty in your hands, and you slowly manoeuvred the both of you until you were straddling his femurs, palming the massive erection hidden by his basketball shorts. Eagerly, you slid them down, and...

"Woah..."

The room was instantly awash with blue light, just like the flames on his hands earlier today, all originating from the glowing blue erection before you. 

"heh, babe." Sans snickered, and you glanced up at him. "blue balls."

You tried not to, you really did, but you were a kid at heart and juvenile humour never failed to make you laugh. You giggled like a little schoolgirl, a stupid grin on your face. "I'll try and, uh... alleviate that for you?"

Sans was laughing, but when you wrapping your hand around him and stroked, the noise that escaped him was definitely not a laugh. It filled you with immense satisfaction, and you slowly bent down, giving the head a little lick and enjoying the feeling of pure magic fizzing across your body. When you wrapped your mouth around the shaft, you head Sans breathe your name out almost disbelievingly, and that only encouraged you. 

You'd never enjoyed oral sex particularly, but this was different. You weren't just trying to end this guy, you wanted Sans to feel good, you wanted to prove to him that you wanted him. 

To be fair, it wasn't that hard.

Sans was a groaning mess beneath you in mere seconds, and could only just bare to push you off, eyes wide and cheekbones flushed dark indigo. "babe... that was..."

"Woah?" You supplied, and he let out a breathy laugh. You watched as he looked up at you, your hair in your eyes and most likely a bit of drool on your chin, and he sighed.

"lemme show you."

And woah couldn't even describe it. The moment Sans tugged off your pants and underwear, looking up at you through half-lidded sockets and that damn tongue hanging from his mouth, you knew you were fucked. Every single crevice, every single nerve seemed fried with the magic that was his tongue. It was like he already knew what to look for, the way he systematically hit all of your good spots and then some you didn't even know about. You were left a shaking mess, clutching onto his skull and begging to feel that sweet release of a climax when, of course, the fucker stops. You can't help the pitiful whine that leaves you when his head pulls away from your throbbing core, and the glowing look on his face tells you he's satisfied.

"Sans, please - I need it." You panted, as he crawled up between you to kiss you again. You respond just as eagerly, pulling him in and tracing the tips of your fingers over the little bumps of his spine.

"(y/n)...:" He says your name reverently as soon as you part, and he looks so ethereal before you, bathed in moonlight, that you just want this small moment to last forever and then there's something at your entrance and the feeling of pure magic at your core nearly finishes you. But, Sans is waiting, he's staring at you, taking in your image as you lay among the crumbled sheets with your hair fanning the pillows behind you and he's just savouring the moment. "can i?"

"Fuck - yes!"

If you thought that his tongue was something, his dick was something completely different. It filled you up in a way that you'd never been filled before, sparking something deep in your chest and there was a knot clenching in your core that just came lose the second he pushed that magical dick inside you, and you came undone.

Sans watched you with pure amazement, that he'd (him, sans the skeleton!) brought you to that point, where you were a mess of desperate moans and a quivering orgasm. Then, of course, he'd continued, and you'd moaned so loud he'd felt it and there was nothing else he could feel. Well, except the overwhelming pleasure the was coursing through every inch of his body.

The two of you had started out slow, just learning how things were going to work. But then, you'd both simultaneously decided that you fucking hated slow and sped things the fuck up. And from the immensely satisfied grin on his face as he fell beside you, just moments after finishing, you just hoped that you'd been able to make him feel even a fraction of how good he'd made you feel. 

All those worries were gone, though, the moment he stretched a skeletal arm over your waist, pulling you closer into his chest.

Everything was fine, for now.


	11. In Which You Threaten Caterpillars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter for today, just chilling since school holidays have finally started. updates might get more frequent.  
> anyway, enjoy a quick fluffy chapter! since that's basically all I want to write!

When you woke up, everything just seemed... perfect. 

Beams of warm morning light streaked through the blinds, the shapes it made on your white sheets constantly shifting as the wind from the window blew the thick curtains. Being a Saturday, the usual noise of morning bustle was traded for the peaceful sounds of lazy weekends, nearly silent save for someone mowing their lawn in the far distance. You couldn't bring yourself to care that much, curling up close to the body next to you in the bed.

Some time through the night, you had shifted from being the little spoon to facing Sans, one leg wrapped around his and hands tangled through the back of his rib cage. Sans, too, had gotten all wrapped up with you, his fingers tangled in your little nest of hair, the other hand wrapped tight around your side, keeping you close. Staring at him, this moment was just too good to pass up. He looked so much more relaxed in his sleep, fixed grin fading into a much more neutral shape, and the constant bags under his eyes seemed less deep. The slow rise and fall of his chest were set in an easy rhythm, and if you concentrated hard enough, you could feel the slight buzz of his magic match it. You found yourself hoping for this little moment to never end. 

Which, of course, meant that it had to be interrupted.

The jarring sound of banging on your door pierced through the silence, jolting with surprise, which in turn woke Sans.

"wha - who - huh?" He managed, upright but swaying with sleepiness.

"Probably Alphys and Undyne." You said, shifting the covers in an attempt to hide your nakedness as you got up. You knew it was stupid, he'd seen you very much naked just last night, but you didn't care. "I gotta go see what they want. You go back to sleep."

Sans frowned, but his mood lightened considerably when you lent down to place a quick kiss on the crown of his skull. "c'ya, babe."

Failing to keep the grin off your face, you ducked into the bathroom to change (trying to ignore the loud bangs on your door as Undyne waited impatiently outside) and ran to the front door. You didn't have much time, your hair was still a mess and you definitely had your shirt on inside-out, but you made it before the woman broke your door down.

"FINALLY." She groaned as you unlocked the door, letting herself in and ducking straight for the couch. Alphys shuffled in behind her, her exasperated eye roll only barely hiding her affection.

"Sorry, you woke me up." You half-lied, scrambling your short term memory for some trace of a time where you invited them over. Don't get you wrong, you loved them, but there was a certain skeleton in your bed that you had other plans with. 

"You're usually up b-by now," Alphys said as she hopped up into her girlfriend's lap. You rolled your eyes, but Undyne fixed you with a confused stare.

"What, I was up late last night." You said casually, moving to the sink to get a glass of water. "Had stuff to do."

"heh. damn right."

Sans had suddenly appeared from the hallway, back in yesterday's clothes and the biggest, cockiest grin on his face. Your face instantly turned about five shades darker, shooting a look at the two girls on your couch, and then to the bastard in question. "Sans." You managed through gritted teeth. "That's private."

Alphys and Undyne watched on with confusion. Then, their Go-Go Gadget inspector gear came on. First, you were in bed when they'd arrived. Then, you were a mess, and there was a clear bruise on the base of your neck that seemed _awfully_ suspicious. Finally, the fact that Sans had wandered out of your bedroom...

"YOU GUYS FUCKED?" Undyne roared, a look of pure delight on her face. Alphys squealed, and you nearly passed out at the heat that suddenly formed on your face.

"OMG! My O-OTP!!!" Alphys also looked close to fainting, and you just groaned.

"Can we maybe not?" You asked, slouching into a stool at the kitchen island. You thought back to how the morning started, and you kinda wished you hadn't gotten out of bed to begin with.

Your best friends (you were starting to debate that, actually), of course, didn't stop. All throughout the making and eating of breakfast, they didn't hesitate to tease you at every turn, and you weren't sure what the hell you'd done to deserve it. Sans, the dick, had been annoyingly quiet. Occasionally piping up to throw out a few skeleton-based sexual innuendos that made Undyne cackle. It was at the end of another 'she got boned' joke that you finally snapped.

"Sans, baby." You grinned. "If you ever want to get 'boned' again, I suggest you shut the fuck up."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!"

It did shut him up for a bit.

 

It turns out that Undyne and Alphys had come over completely uninvited to use your Netflix account. So after setting them up with the remote and forfeiting some snacks, you made your way outside to get started on your usual weekend morning gardening. There was a group of weeds creeping through in the corner of your veggie patch, and you needed to cut back a few of the bushes, since spring was coming real soon and you needed to make space for all the extra stuff you wanted to plant.

You had been outside for maybe twenty minutes, carefully inspecting your snowdrops, when you finally noticed some damage. Right at the back, a whole row of snowdrops had had their leaves eaten by what you suspected to be rogue caterpillars.

"My babiessss." You whined, already in the process of bringing out the insecticide. "Don't worry, children. I'll find the culprits, I'll tear each and every one of them limb from limb."

"yikes."

"Shit!" You stumbled out of your crouching position, landing flat on your ass in front of Sans and embarrassing yourself yet again. "How much did you hear?"

"enough." He said, laughing. You sighed, cheeks still annoyingly red, and allowed him to pull you up off the ground. "here. a peace offering." You practically groaned out a thanks, taking the cup of tea he'd given you and instantly burning your tongue on the boiling liquid. Worth it. Sans watched this with a sparkle of amusement in his eyes, then said, "so... how are you gonna go about avenging your flowers?"

"Sans..." You groaned, a pout on your lips. He just grinned at your reaction, falling back into one of the garden chairs with relaxed ease. You followed suit, resting your head against his hoodie-clad shoulder and letting out a sigh. "These damn caterpillars keep eating my snowdrops... they're just too fucking beautiful, like throwing a porn mag into a boy's locker room, and the hormonal teenagers are starving caterpillars."

"poor baby..." Sans cooed, petting your head very condescendingly.

"Don't be mean, I'm a distressed mother." You stated, which finally got a laugh out of him. 

You always felt special when you made him laugh. He was so funny himself, always trying to make other people laugh with his jokes and puns, that it always seemed like a challenge to return the favour. It made you swell with some deep, hidden pride whenever you got to see that same joy on his face that he made so many people feel daily. The stretch of his grin, the crinkle of the outer corner of his eye sockets, and the little scrunched up movement that the sides of his nasal cavity did. God... he was just so beautiful.

"hey..." He said, snapping you out of your little train of thought. You hummed in response, as he had just started tracing shapes into your side with one of his fingers, and that was feeling _really_ good. "back inside... i'm sorry for embarrassing you."

"Huh?" You replied, snapping your head up to look at him. Sans looked sheepish.

"back inside, when alph and undyne were teasing you. i made it worse." He said, frowning.

"Hey, it's fine, babe." You said, grasping one of his hands firmly as you manoeuvred your body to look at him properly. "I wasn't embarrassed by you, I would never be embarrassed. I just know how the girls can get with their jokes, is all."

"still, i should have known you wanted to keep it more private..." He stated, and you sighed. Leaning forward, you pulled him into a kiss. Not like any of your other ones, this one was new. Slow and deliberate, you were trying to show him something. And you were pointedly ignoring the whistles from the two monsters inside. When you pulled back, Sans looked happy, but still a little concerned.

"I don't care now that it's out." You said slowly, grinning. "To be honest, I'm kinda happy that you're that excited to tell everybody..."

Sans' regular grin spread across his skull, and he threw an arm over your shoulder casually. "just trying to show off my amazing girlfriend." Then, when he saw you raised an eyebrow, he hesitantly asked, "if that's okay with you."

You huffed out a small laugh, leaning further into his shoulder with a sigh. "Girlfriend sounds great."

 

As the morning wore on and Alphys and Undyne ran out of things to watch, they finally came out to 'help' with your gardening work. And by 'help', you meant sitting with Sans on one of the benches and occasionally spraying everyone with water. 

By lunch, you were soaking wet, freezing, and ready to murder Undyne. You had just finished bickering with her about how hoses were _not_  just for 'wetting people's shirts and creating sexual tension' when Alphys called you over from the other side of the yard. She was right in the corner, titering over one of the flower beds that you hadn't bothered checking since, well, it was the end of winter and all of those were supposed to be dormant. Keywords: supposed to.

"Golden flowers?" You muttered, crouching down to get a better look. Sure enough, the large, thick petals made of a deep yellow were sprouting just in front of the fence separating you from your neighbours. 

"Huh? You planted those Underground flowers here?" Undyne asked, appearing by your shoulder. You shot her a look, standing up.

"No." You said, lips pressed into a grim line. "No, I didn't..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really surprised that people seem to be reading this fic since nothing in the way of the plot is really happening yet.  
> but rest assured! things! will happen! soon!!!!


	12. In Which Some Plot Actually Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone has a nice chat and reader does some research :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot emerges! as much as i want to make a fluffy story about the reader and sans doing science and making out, i felt that a dramatic change was in order. hopefully y'all like it lol.  
> also, school holidays have just ended where i live (australia), so my already erratic update schedule with probably be a bit more chaotic. pls deal with me :)

"How curious..." 

Asgore had arrived pretty quickly after Undyne called him, still dressed in his formal clothes from the meeting he'd attended prior, and was now kneeling before the patch of mysterious golden flowers that had sprouted in your garden. Sans and Undyne had left a while ago to ask around the neighbourhood to see if anyone else had these new flowers in their garden, so it was just you, Alphys and Asgore left standing around.

"Has this happened before?" You finally asked, breaking the King's trance from the bright yellow petals. He stood, dusting the dirt from his expensive-looking suit. You hoped it was as expensive as it looked.

"We've had cases of these flowers appearing randomly across the Underground," Asgore explained, shooting a quick look at Alphys, who shrunk under the gaze. You pretended not to notice the interaction. "But never on the surface. You see, these particular flowers are special, and require a certain amount of ambient magic in their surroundings to survive."

"Ambient magic?" You questioned, and Alphys finally piped up.

"The unused m-magic that is cast off from m-monsters," she explained, adjusting her glasses with a shaky hand. "Due to the b-barrier, magic was trapped Underground. But after it w-was destroyed, we hypothesised that it would s-slowly start to rejoin the natural processes of surface life."

"That would explain the differences between the Surface and Underground biospheres," you said, absently tugging on a stray tuft of hair. "This ambient magic, it's used as a sort of energy source for the plants, yeah?"

"Almost like photosynthesis," Alphys suggested. "But magic c-creates a few more variables than just energy."

"Like the ability to mimic sounds?" You asked, thinking back to the Echo Flower decorating your desk in the lab. When the two nodded, you hummed, already in deep thought. For weeks you'd been ripping your hair out over the origin of these, well, magical abilities from the Undeground flora, but now it all seemed simple. You'd still need to look into this heavily.

"I have a collection of texts on the effects of magic on wildlife," Asgore stated after a moment of silence. "If you would like, I could lend them to you. I think that they would aid you in your research."

"That would be great, thank you." You said, and then you remembered something. "Oh god, I've been a terrible host. Come inside, it's freezing. Would you like some tea?"

"A small cup would be lovely." He replied, following you inside. Neither of you noticed the worried look on Alphys' face, or the very faint giggle emitting from the ground behind her.

 

"No one else had anything," Undyne stated as she and Sans returned. She perked up, however, when she noticed the steaming cups in your hands. "Oh hell yeah, is that golden flower tea?"

"Thought it would be appropriate," you said, sending Sans a smile as he sunk next to you on the couch. "But yeah, no one else?"

"We checked, like, a THOUSAND houses," Undyne complained as Asgore passed her a mug. This seemed to calm her down a bit. "Bit of a coincidence that they'd pop up in just your house, ay?"

"Well, maybe not." You said, offering Sans a sip from your cup. He scrunched his nose up at the offering, and you laughed slightly. He wouldn't drink anything that wasn't ketchup or heavily caffeinated. Oh right, your explanation. "You said that ambient magic comes from monsters? I have you guys over tons, and this area is pretty human heavy."

It's true. Since this was an older area of Ebott, most of the houses were super old and had generations of families living in them. You hadn't seen many (if any) monsters besides your friends in the area. Just white picket fences and even whiter people.

"While this is true, we'll have to monitor this closely," Asgore stated after a sip of tea. Even your biggest mug (it was technically a soup bowl) looked comically small in his massive paws. "I'll send out a message to the mayor, asking for any reports of Underground plants popping up."

After that, your guests started to slowly trickle away. Asgore left first, being King meant that there were much more important things to do than sit and drink tea. It didn't take too long after that for Alphys and Undyne to say their goodbyes and drive away in the jeep, leaving just you and Sans alone. You could tell that he was worried about the mysterious plants, but you couldn't tell why.

You gathered up the empty mugs and started on packing the dishwasher, aware of Sans' presence on the kitchen island behind you. You had hoped that he would say something, but maybe you'd have to do some digging. Rinsing off some dirty dished, you finally spoke.

"Something on your mind?" You asked, innocent enough. His eye's found your's, and something akin to guilt crossed his expression.

"nothin' much," he replied, a very tired look on his face. "underground stuff."

You sighed, pushing the washer closed and pressing the ON button, letting the gentle humming of the machinery fill the silence. Sans' shoulder slumped when you sat down across from him, setting your hand on his reassuringly. "Underground stuff doesn't really strike me as nothin' much." There's a smile on his face, and your expression softens. "I can't help if you don't tell me, you know that?"

"yeah..." He said, giving you that strange look he often does, tracing the tips of his phalanges over the delicate bones of your wrist. "i know."

You smiled. He wasn't going to budge like this. You'd known for a while, from talks with friends and just from being with him, that he held a lot of secrets. You know that it wasn't your right to know them, but you wished he'd let you carry some of the weight for him. So that he didn't always have to feel like he was the only one who knew things. Because you _knew_ he was hiding something big. You hoped it wasn't as big as you thought it was.

"You can tell me whenever you want." You said, whisper-quiet. "When you're ready, okay?"

"okay." He said, and that was that. You lent over and kissed him, deep and lovingly, then once in the center of his forehead, a smile on your face.

He'd needed to go, of course. Papyrus had gone one night without him, and as much as you wanted it, he needed to be with his brother. You walked him to the door, somewhat useless, since he could just teleport from the kitchen, but he'd once explained that using doors as a gateway was easier on his magic, even if it was used for mostly pranks. 

When you reached the door, he sent one final glance at the backyard. There was no way he could see those golden flowers from there, but you could tell he was trying.

"The surface is changing." You said softly, making him look across at you.

"how?" He asked.

"Magic." You said simply, a hint of laughter in your tone. "It's changing everything. The plants, the culture... the people." Suddenly, your expression clouded. "Sans, that man from last night, what he said..."

"yeah... i know." Was his reply, and you sighed.

"If what that guy said was true..." You muttered, grasping his hand just a bit tighter. "That there's... forums. Hate groups..."

"i'll be careful," Sans assured you, pulling you into a tight hug. The weight that had appeared in your chest throughout the conversation dissipated.

"Everyone has to be." You said, and when he was gone, and you were on your own in your quiet house, you sat awake in bed with your laptop lighting the room with a faint blue hue. It was comforting, at least until your 'research' gained some results.

It was a pretty simple 4chan page, mostly filled with people's disgusting opinions and thoughts on monsters marked in neat little threads. Their comments made you sick, the anonymous nature of it all made your skin crawl. Any of these people could be your neighbours or the people you cross in the street every day. Other than the disgusting comments being made, the whole thing seemed relatively harmless. Well, as harmless as a hate site can be. Just people throwing their hate anonymously at the internet machine.

Then, there was a link.

It was posted by another blank user, but they were from your country. Other than that, the post just read: 'more info on the monster scum' with some meme picture that was about five years out of date. You hesitated to click the link, checking that all of your antivirus software would cover that sort of stuff, but eventually, curiosity killed the cat and you had to bite the bullet and click away.

You very much regretted that decision.

It was... a blog, in simple terms. All written by some guy nicknamed: 'TheAngelOfDeath_84'. That was enough to set off alarm bells, but the stuff that he posted made your alarm bells turn into fucking ambulance sirens.

It seems that he'd started just posting his own opinions on the monsters, dating back to about a month after they first broke free from the Underground. Just simple stuff, stating that he wondered how things would turn out, how he didn't believe in magic, that sort of thing. Then, suddenly, the mood of the entire page seemed to shift. It was the day that Asgore's crimes had been discovered. People had lost their minds, and apparently, this guy had, too.

But instead of eventually just getting over it, returning to his normal life, this guy apparently decided to start some sort of cult. 

Horrifyingly, he had started to collect 'data' on as many monsters as possible, mainly the King, Queen and Frisk, since he had particular hate for the three of them. There little profiles for at least a thousand monsters, ranging from the King, to Undyne, to Grillby, even a few of your coworkers at the lab. Some had minimal details. Age, name, magic type, etc. But others were _much_ more detailed.

People could email this guy and submit their own info, and there was a search engine that you could use to look up specific monsters. You hesitated over the keyboard for a good minute but started to type anyway.

Your blood ran cold.

Sans had a profile, and it was insanely detailed. It had a picture of him, cropped from a picture of the first monsters to emerge from the mountain, as well as a full description.

Alias: Sans The Skeleton

Age: N/A

Magic Type: Gravity Manipulation, Teleportation, Bones

Family: The Great Papyrus (brother)

Occupation: Head of Astrophysics at New Lab

It went on, of course, but you were distracted by the small paragraph that had been edited into the post.

TheAngelOfDeath_84: "Appearances can be deceiving, and monsters are the most deceitful of all. Despite assurances that Sans The Skeleton was the easiest enemy, this has been proven wrong in place of a recent attack on a human. This savage went out of his way to attack an unarmed human, and seems to be working with the Royal family..."

The description continued further, describing the drunk guy's injuries and warning humans to stay away. You were freaking out, of course, because a whole bunch of humans were gunning for your boyfriend, when a notification popped up in their corner. You would have ignored it, of course, only this one had your name on it.

Turns out, there was another section devoted entirely to 'monster fuckers'. It had only a few profiles, mainly Frisk, a few government figures who had publicly supported monsters, random people that you'd never heard of and, of course, you.

You were the latest to be added to the list, so you were front and center. It had your full name, age, workplace, family and a very creepy picture of you and Sans walking together. The description called you a whole bunch of bad names; necrophiliac, whore... the list went on. This guy was genuinely angry that humans were having relationships with monsters.

Letting out a shaky breath that you didn't realise you were holding, you marked the website and shoved your computer away.

You didn't get a wink of sleep that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is getting way more attention than it deserves! all of your comments lighten up my life, and i'm genuinely excited every time i get a notif that one has come through. thank you all for reading :)


	13. In Which The Workplace Guidance Rules Are Ignored

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd be back sooner, but then i had a mild depressive episode and all of my end of course exams, so sorry for the 'minor' delay lmao. anyway ya good friend back atcha again with another addition to the flaming garbage pile. hope ya'll like it lol.

The news of the forums had gone over just as well as could be expected. Undyne was furious, Alphys was paranoid, Asgore and Toriel were overrun with meetings, and Sans, well... Sans didn't really take it well.

"ready to go?" He said, strolling into your office one day at 5:30, pulling on a pair of safety glasses as he went. You sighed, he'd been insistent on taking you home via a shortcut every day since you'd shown him the forums, and at first, you'd humoured him - hell, you were a little paranoid, too - but after a week or two passed and it became clear that there wasn't a murderer at every turn, you were getting a little antsy with all the sheltering.

"Babe, I have to work late tonight." You explained, gesturing to the large stack of papers and files at your desk. Being the Head of the Biology department was awesome sometimes, you could approve your own ideas and be your own boss, but it also meant you had a lot more responsibilities than you were used to. You'd been doing a lot of lab work recently, trying to work with this new topic of ambient magic that your monster coworkers were trying to explain, so all of your more boring jobs had piled up pretty quick. "Besides, I'm going to Alphys' house for anime night."

"that's fine, i'll come with." He replied, already settled on the couch opposite your desk. You raised a brow.

"You have to babysit Frisk tonight."

"paps can take care of it."

"It's gonna take a few hours, Sans."

"we don't mind."

"Sans."

There was a tense silence. You stared at him until he was squirming under your gaze, a small bead of sweat rolling down his temple, but it was clear that he wasn't backing down. You remember asking him not to go looking on those forums. There were some awful things being said about all of you, maybe even especially the two of you, but you knew that he must have seen them at some point. You'd said it wasn't worth it, that the police were already looking into it. He hadn't bought that, of course, because you hadn't either. The police were never really on your side.

Another sigh left your lips, and you slumped over, running a distracted hand through your hair.

"We can't keep doing this forever, you know." You said quietly, your eyes flicking back over to him. "I can't keep living life like this, constantly in fear that _something_ is going to happen. To me, you, anyone. Poor Alphys is terrified, Undyne's wearing herself thin, and..." He finally met your eyes, and you carefully inspected the deep bags that were steadily growing under his eye sockets, the strained nature of his grin. "You're exhausted, Sans."

"but what about you-"

" _I'm_ just a 'monster fucker'." You cut him off, and he flinched. You instantly softened, rounding the desk to go sit next to him. His hands found yours, and you both sat in the quiet for a moment. "Sorry, I think everyone's been a bit on edge lately..."

Sans just nodded, and you tried to just enjoy this short moment. With the hustle and bustle of the past few days, there had rarely been a moment where the two of you had been alone, except for him taking you through shortcuts, which were already a point of tension between the two of you. So you sat there, on the old couch he'd probably stolen from some junkyard, carefully running your fingers over the rough edges of his shoulders. You knew he held most of his tension there, so you watched as the anxiety slowly melted from his frame until it was barely noticeable, the erratic buzzing of his magic calming down to more of the gentle hum that you were used to.

"You're gonna go home, be with your brother and Frisk for a nice play date, and I'm going to finish my work and go to my friend's house." You told him gently when you finally pulled away. There was a hint of objection in his eyes, so you continued: "I'll text you when I leave, and then when we get there. Any funny business and you're only a call away."

You smiled reassuringly, and you inwardly let out a sigh of relief when he returned it.

"hopefully you won't need your prince charming to come and save you, huh?" He said.

"Wow, what a callback." You said, giggling a bit.

" _tibia_ honest, it's not a night i plan on forgetting any time soon." He replied, that cocky attitude that you'd missed so much back in full force.

You smiled, pressing a kiss against the ridge of his jawbone and enjoying the shiver that ran up his spine at the slow and deliberate contact. When you pulled back, you were very pleased to find a dusting of blue across his cheekbones.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it some much, babe. Because I think we're long overdue for a revisit, don't you think?" You asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

You shrieked when Sans got the jump on you, though, pushing you back against the arm of the couch and crashing his lips against yours. The two of you were eager, and you leaned further into the kiss, enjoying the rush of magical energy that flooded your nerves when his tongue flickered across your lips. Your heart was beating frantically as you let him in, and that pleasant buzz of magic you felt before just seemed to increase tenfold, as if every nerve ending was alight with a cold blue flame.

Slowly, agonizingly, he was moving down from the corner of your lips, down past your jaw to the great expanse of your neck. Your heart was beating faster and faster, the veins and arteries laying just below the skin pulsing with each feather-like press of his magical lips. There was a strange sensation, his teeth scraping against the delicate flesh, then the rush of magic as his tongue swiped over it. You were alive with pleasure, clutching your hands at the back of his shirt desperately.

But then, just as quick as it started, it was over. Sans was leaned over your frazzled form, breathing heavy as his eyes bore down on you, clouded and very seductive. "i think," he panted out, grinning. "that i should get out of here before we break any workplace conduct guidelines..."

"You mean any more than we just did?" You asked cheekily. Sans rolled his eyes and - awww! - very reluctantly moved away from you, letting you stand up and adjust yourself so that you didn't look quite so scandalous. You noticed the smug look on his face and pouted, but this only made him laugh further. You huffed. "Alright, get out already."

"really, babe?" He asked, content in his cocky attitude. "cause just a few seconds ago you were begging me to-"

"Out!"

With a few very unkind snickers, he was gone. Poofed out of thin air like he usually does. You grumbled for a little bit but eventually returned to the pile of work that you'd been so insistent on staying behind to do. Now that you'd had a steamy moment with your boyfriend, though...

You sighed, setting yourself down in your big fancy office chair and cracking your knuckles.

"Time to make this paperwork my bitch."

 

* * *

 

Turns out that the paperwork made a bitch out of you.

By the time 8 o'clock came around, and everyone else in the lab had gone home, you had made your way through three-quarters of the massive pile. Most of it had been simple approval things. Marion needed a lot of get out into the field for most of her research, so travel schedules needed to be made, and Temmie had been steadily going through the buildings supply of glassware. Something about Temmie Flakes... so you just signed off on it and ordered an increased stock.

You'd also needed to write another entry in Kate The Intern™'s progress logbook. She was a really good intern, always ready to be a lab buddy for even the most dangerous of experiments, but she was a bit of a wild card when it came to stuff like 'work' and 'boring school shit', as she so lovingly put it. Still, she was fun to have around, always gushing about her girlfriend, a green flame elemental that you knew was Grillby's daughter. They were high school sweethearts. It was adorable.

Anywho, you'd finally reached the point where you were done. You'd do the rest at home over the weekend because you had a big lab to set up for some Uni kids that were coming through tomorrow and you knew that would take up all of your day.

You were already stuffing the rest of the papers inside your old laptop bag when Alphys finally appeared, all of her things balanced in her hands and wide grin on her face.

"H-Hey, ready to go?" She asked. The excitement on her face was contagious. It had been a while since a fabled 'anime night' had taken place, and you were glad that you all were finally doing something to take your minds off things.

"Hell yeah!" You grinned, swinging your bag over your shoulder and depositing some of her load into your arms. "I can't believe you made me wait to watch the finale, I've been in pure agony!"

"Yeah, I know. You've been a r-real champ about not spoiling it." She replied, rolling her eyes as the two of you walked out towards the exit of the building. This was a hot topic between the two of you, as you were both notorious for your spoiling abilities. "You s-sure you can last another twenty minutes?"

"Oh I dunno, test me a bit more with that attitude and I might not be able to contain myself."

"Duly noted."

Alphys' car was adorable.

Undyne's jeep was pretty rad, you'd never testify against that, but Alphys' little sky blue bug was drop dead gorgeous, and perfectly suited to its owner. (It also looked hilarious to see the two cars next to each other in their driveway, but that was beside the point.) You loved Alphys' car a lot. Almost made you regret choosing public transport over a little car of your own.

"You wanna drive?" Alphys asked with a little smirk, seeing the dazed look in your eyes as you approached the vehicle.

"Only if you wanna arrive home in a fully body cast." You joked, settling into the passenger seat with a contented sigh.

Alphys was a really good driver. Careful, precise, rule abiding. She'd gotten her license super quick, passed the test first try and was one of the first monsters on the road. It made you think back to your own first driving test. Your little 17 year old self shaking like a leaf in those awful cars, doing rounds around the city and nearly killing several pedestrians in the process. 

You'd had to take the test more than a few times.

Most of the monsters you knew were pretty excited about cars. It was the big open spaces and fast moving, Undyne had explained previously, things that they had never really had Underground. Actually, the only monster you could think of that didn't have a license was Sans. But you supposed that a car was somewhat obsolete when you could get there in seconds using a shortcut.

That had been his argument for taking you home recently. Not the sudden dangerous aspect of a monsterphobic forum, just convenience. You could always tell when he was lying, but with this he didn't even try.

"What are y-you thinking about?" Alphys asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed. You blinked, shrugging in a non-committal way. Alphys shot you a look, one that almost said 'try me', before conceding. "You make the same stupid f-face when you're thinking. And you're pulling at your hair again."

Carefully retracting your fingers from the tangled mess on your head, you sighed. "It's nothing, Alphys. Just... things."

"Oh, things?" She mused, a hint of sarcasm in her tone. "That doesn't _sound_ like n-nothing."

"It _is_ nothing. I swear." You said, leaning back in your seat. Her car had seat warmers, and you always took the chance to soak it up for as long as possible. "With everything else, it's honestly understandable that he's worried."

"So it's about Sans?"

Shit.

"(Y/N), we're best friends. You can talk to me about anything." She said, suddenly serious. You really wanted to just insist that it was nothing, forget about it and go forget it all under groovy 80's anime themes and junk food, but you'd never been able to lie to Alphys. Something about her always telling you the truth, it made you want to return the favour.

So you told her. 

Alphys had always been a really good listener. She liked to know things, to understand things, so whenever you had something to rant about, you would go straight to her and be safe in the knowledge that she'd never tell another soul. This time was no exception. She listened as you told her about the last couple weeks, how worried you were about Sans and his behaviors, and how you were scared shitless about everything that was going on, but didn't know how you could fix anything.

"Hey, nobody knows how to fix it." Alphys said, after it was clear that you were done venting. "D-Don't be so hard on yourself."

"I think we both know that that's easier said than done." You replied tiredly, only getting a halfhearted nod in response. "But what I'm really worried about is Sans. He's usually so chill, you know? It's hard to see him so paranoid."

Alphys hesitated, just staring into the night for a while, her mind obviously racing as her hands carefully maneuvered the wheel to guide the car through twists an turns in the bustling city. "Sans wasn't always this relaxed..."

"What?" You glanced at her, but her eyes were still fixated on the road, her brows furrowed as she debated something internally.

"Sans... He's been through a lot." She finally said, and you nodded faintly. "I won't go into it, but... Back when w-we were Underground, he hardly did anything. Didn't work, didn't go out, didn't do anything unless P-Papyrus made him."

You tried not to think too deeply into that. It helped that Alphys kept talking.

"We all thought that it'd be b-better when we got to the surface, like all of the others, but he just didn't seem any happier." She explained, claws tightening and unfurling against the steering wheel every so often. "These past few m-months, with you, it's the happiest I've ever seen him."

Something warm fluttered in your chest, but you couldn't help the awful feeling that came with the knowledge that Sans had been dealing with these things without telling you all this time. You let out a breath that hadn't realised you were holding. "At the party, the first time I met him, you thought that he wouldn't show..."

Alphys nodded, finally able to meet your eyes, if only for a second before they returned to the road. "He barely ever left the house back then. It was the f-first time I'd seen him in ages. I barely managed to get him to join the team at the Lab in the first place..."

You battled with this new information for a moment. The guy Alphys was describing sounded nothing like the Sans you knew. Yet, you knew deep down that she was right. You'd seen glimpses, things you'd brushed off as one-off or you overthinking. Now, it seemed like all the stress was making all those behaviors come up again.

"I just want him to relax..." You sighed, hunching back in your seat as the city slowly shifted to a more suburban setting.

"You're already d-doing what you can." Alphys reassured you, pulling into her street and pulling up to her and Undyne's shared house. She shut everything down and pulled the keys out. But she didn't go to get out just yet, fixing you with a little look the flashed with something warm. "By the looks of your neck, you might be going about it pretty unconventionally..."

You hand smacked against your neck, somewhat-pointlessly hiding the huge hickey that most likely peaked out just above your collar. Cheeks blazing, you glared at your friend, who looked positively gleeful. "Not a _word_ to Undyne."

Of course, she didn't really need to, even with the scarf that you'd produced from your bag, Undyne could sniff these things out like some sort of embarrassing sixth sense, and the two women teased you relentlessly for the rest of the night.

It didn't matter though, because you were having fun. And besides, those words that Alphys had said were stuck in your brain...

You were going about it pretty unconventionally, she had said.

And you might have just the right 'unconventional' plan in the making.


	14. In Which The Plan Is Deployed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pure unadulterated fluff babey hehehehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the amount of attention this story has been getting is kinda crazy, especially with such a shitty update schedule and my mediocre writing skills. i really love reading all of your comments, and seeing the hits pile up just inspires me to write even more, even when my stupid procrastinating brain wants to just give up.  
> so thank you, everyone! this story has a long way to go, but it's gonna be a big boy! i can't wait to see where we end up :)

By the time the weekend rolled around, you had managed to put everything into place for your plan. You'd spent the last couple nights up late in your office/greenhouse (it tends to fluctuate depending on how productive you were feeling) finishing off any work so you had the entire weekend free, you'd been to the nearby convenience store so many times they probably knew you by name, and you'd cleaned the entire house in an epic montage even Rocky would approve of.

So you were pretty amped up for this weekend, so much so that when Sans eventually arrived, poofing into existence just a few feet inside the front door, you suppressed a squeal and raced over, nearly knocking him over with the force of your hug.

"woah! glad to see you too..." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you in for a quick kiss. "missed me much?"

"Pu-lease." You replied, a little childishly. "I'm just excited for my master plan to take place. C'mon!"

Sans let you pull him further into the house, into the living room and onto one of the softer couches, looking just a tiny bit apprehensive as he went. "yeah, about that." He said, as the two of you settled into the soft pillows. "i've been hearing a lot about this 'master plan' of yours, mind explaining it to me?"

Yeah, of course, you were awful at keeping secrets. And Sans was great at sniffing them out. So eventually he had overheard one of your chats with Alphys and he's been on your case ever since. It's been two days of torture, but now you were finally able to be free.

"Right. So basically..." You started, then stopped yourself, shaking your head a bit. "Wait a minute, backstory first. We'll need our serious faces for this one."

"oh god, i'm not getting a tragic backstory am i?" Sans asked, and you shushed him.

"Not yet, but I'm serious."

"hi serious, i'm-"

"Sans."

"hey, you beat me to it-"

"Sans, serious face." You said, then added a little bit of puppy-dog eye. "Pwease?"

Your boyfriend shuddered, "yeah, yeah, alright!" He groaned. "as long as you promise to never do that again."

"Heh, promise." You grinned, then sobered up and took a deep breath. Serious face. Sans copied your movements. "Alright, so we need to have a chat about how you've been acting recently."

The good-natured serious face Sans had pulled faltered slightly as he reacted to your words. A bead of sweat rolling down the back of his skull, he replied: "uhuh, what about it?"

"Babe, you've been all weird ever since I found those forums. We've all been worried about them, sure, but I've just..." You trailed off, sighing slightly. You met his eyes. "Alphys told me... about how you were before. Of course, I had my suspicions, but..."

Sans didn't seem to react outwardly, just his eye-lights moving ever so slightly as if his thoughts were racing. 

"My point is." You said, reaching out to take his hand. He grasped it immediately, to which you were very relieved. "That I think it would be a good idea to just take a few days to chill out. Forget about all the bullshit and laze around like a couple of couch potatoes and watch awful science documentaries."

"this is your master plan?" Sans asked, after a beat of silence. You smiled.

"Oh, we haven't got to the good part yet."

 

"what _is_ this stuff?" Sans asked, looking slightly incredulously at the several piles of drug store bags you'd just produced from seemingly nowhere. He pulled something out at random, ending up with a silly sheet mask with a dog face printed on it. "i don't get it..."

"Well, you see, my darling boyfriend." You grinned, producing two scented candles (rose and marshmallow, if you remembered correctly. You'd bought a lot) and setting them down on the coffee table in front of you. "We're gonna have a fucking spa day."

"ugh, like that crap MTT keeps taking my bro for?" Sans asked, looking somewhat disgusted at the pile of skincare products in front of him.

"First off, I'm gonna need an explanation of that later." You said, sincerely wondering how the hell Mettaton and Papyrus spa days happened, and how they seemed to be a regular occurrence. "Second, there's a key difference between the crap Mettaton probably has and this crap."

"oh yeah, and that it?" Sans asked, raising a brow.

"This crap is complete garbage." You said, gesturing to the receipt in one of the plastic bags. "All of this cost me like 30 bucks. It was basically a burglary."

"i still don't know what this has to do with the whole forum things," Sans said apprehensively, and you let out a slightly dramatic sigh.

"Babe, you're not seeing my _vision_ right now." You stressed, shaking your hands in mock-frustration. 

"what, my superior eyes ain't seeing your stupid human vision?" He shot right back, reigniting the fight you'd been having for months.

"Do not make me bring out my emergency safety glasses." You warned, and he surrendered, knowing full-well that you were 100% serious. "My 100% better vision, is that this has absolutely nothing to do with the forums. It's not supposed to. We're supposed to be chilling right now, putting useless oils and goop on our faces. Maybe bust the cheap rosé if we feel like it. It's science, man."

"oh yeah?" Sans questioned, examining a little tube of some sort of clay mask. "and do tell me, oh great science lord, how a guy with no skin is supposed to get the benefits of _skin_ care."

"I'm not liking that sass, bro. Don't question my methods." You said, crossing your arms over your chest. "Now tell me, oh great butt lord, would you rather sit here and worry about some loser hiding behind a computer screen, or do you wanna come with your girlfriend and put some motherfucking goop on your motherfucking face?!"

You finished dramatically with a Mettaton-worthy pose, holding out the little jar of goop as an offering to him. Sans just blinked. Then he broke out laughing. And soon you were both giggling to yourselves like little kids.

"oh god..." Sans whispered, wiping a single tear from the bottom of his eye socket. "this better be some hella good goop, babe."

"Only the best for spa day, Sans." You assured him. "And by 'best' I mean 'cheapest in the clearance section'."

"babe, you shouldn't have!"

"Shut up and come with me to the bathroom."

"yes sir."

 

"I can't believe you've never done this before..." You muttered, glancing at Sans out of the corner of your eye as you tied your hair back out of your face. He was propped up on the bathroom counter, watching you stumble around the room getting stuff out and generally being a bit chaotic.

"as i said, never really found much interest in skincare." Sans replied casually. "y'know, on account of being a skeleton."

You blew him a raspberry for being mean, then turned on the tap and waited for it to warm up, before dunking two wash-cloths under the jets and trying not to wince like a baby under the hot water.

"what are you doing here?" He asked curiously. You smiled a bit, finding his little 'i'm not interested but totally secretly am' facade pretty cute.

"The hot towels open up the pores in the skin, makes it easier for the other stuff to work." You explained, then upon seeing his dubious look, you sighed. " _Please_ just humour me." 

Sans put his hands up in a universal sign of peace, taking his towel and obediently laying it over his face, copying your movements exactly. It was quiet for a moment, the warmth from the towel seeping into your skin and doing its magic. You almost expected Sans to bust out with some sort of towel-based pun or something, but he waited patiently until you deemed that your faces had been thoroughly steamed.

Of course, the moment the towel came off and you saw that shit-eating grin, you realised your mistake. 

You'd let him have a good two minutes to plan his joke.

"y'know, when you invited me over for a surprise i kinda expected for you to get wet, just not in this exact way..."

You closed your eyes and let out a deep, long-suffering sigh. Sans cracked up, of course, always a fan of the classic 'i give up' reaction to his jokes. Eventually though, the two of you got back on track, and after washing your face with some cleanser that smelt like grapefruit (you had to explain that this was only the preparations, not the actual spa day) the two of you hobbled back to the couch with your bowls of water and packs of goods.

"Alright, first up..." You muttered, digging through the plastic bag. "This sugar scrub thingy? I think there's supposed to be an order, but I only got the stuff that looked cool."

"very smart play, babe."

"Thank you."

You cracked open the jar and got a good amount of the paste on your fingers, then motioned for Sans to do the same.

"huh?" He asked, looking confused.

"We have to do each other's, otherwise it doesn't work." You said knowledgeably. 

"i'm starting to doubt your scientific knowledge on this topic, babe..." Sans said, but scooted forward none the less. After gathering up a good clump of paste, he hesitantly mirrored your movements and spread some across your cheeks. It was all very calm, the two of you carefully applying the scrub and slowly massaging it in (or in your case, just sort of smearing it around the surface of his bones a bit more). With the amount of concentration showing on his face, you had to suppress the urge to giggle, knowing it would potentially spell disaster.

Unfortunately, this seemed to be for nought, as the second you moved even slightly towards the edge of his mouth, a glowing blue tongue shot out and snatched up a bit of. You gasped, watching in abject horror as Sans' expression turned from cheeky to distraught as the severity of his mistake became clearer and clearer.

In between the spitting and the coughing and the general sputtering, he managed to get out: "what kinda sugar scrub is that?!"

"The type that has other - oh my fucking god - the type that has _other fucking ingredients_ you moron!" You wheezed once you'd managed to stifle your laughing a bit, then succumbing to another peel of laughter at the distraught expression on your boyfriend's face. 

"i'm suffering over here, babe. Stop laughing." He whined, the purple sugar smeared across his skull only adding to the obscurity of the situation.

Then, something flickered in his eye-sockets, something awful and mischievous that could only mean one thing. He had an idea. And all your brain was supplying was 'RUN'.

"Sans, I swear to god, if any of that shit gets anywhere near my mouth I'm gonna kill the fuck outta you." You warned, but he was already on the prowl, that wide grin of his stretching to Cheshire Cat levels.

"i ain't gonna do nothing... just c'mere..." He said, motioning you forward. You backed up fast, and in your amazing escape you gracefully fell off the side of the couch in a flailing mess of limbs. This halted him for a moment, and he leaned over the side to check you hadn't died or something. "shit, you good?"

"Death before dishonour!!!"

"fuck-"

 

The resulting play-fight ended when you smacked Sans in the face with a throw pillow and he subsequently used his gravity magic to restrain you via pinning you to the roof. It took a lot of whining and grovelling for him to let you down, and only after you 'sincerely apologized for endangering his life like that'. Then, after a quick trip to the bathroom to rinse off the sugar (most of Sans' was lost to the pillow) you were ready for the next step.

"Goop!" You exclaimed gleefully, squeezing an entire tube of a random peel-off gold mask into your hands. "You get gold because you're worth so much to me~"

"ugh, that was awful." 

"It was cute, asshole!"

So after a moment of careful goop application (Sans had selected a green seaweed mask for you, but sadly refused to make a plant-based pick-up line) you hopped up and dashed over to the kitchen for 'supplies'.

"This stuff takes a while to dry, so we've got a bit of time to kill." You explained, digging through your cupboards for some of the monster food you kept stocked up for Sans. Sometimes, his lack of a stomach really got on your nerves, since it meant you could never really make anything for him, but he didn't really seem to eat much anyway. "Can you turn on the TV? I've got a few nature documentaries I've been wanting to show you."

You heard a bit of rustling, then the sound of your old TV bursting to life, some over-zealous cooking show and its obnoxiously tense music filling the room. You hurried to grab the snacks out of the fridge and rushed back to the couch, dumping your stash (chisps, Oreo's, rosé and ketchup. the perfect mix) on the coffee table and melting into the back of the couch with a loud groan.

"the perfect image of relaxation," He snickered, swiping a pack of popato chisps as you hummed in response.

"Not without the cucumbers, I'm not." You reminded him, picking up the remote and pulling up your list of recorded shows. "I thought that would be a step too far, considering your vastly inferior eyes and all."

"right, of course." Sans replied, chewing obnoxiously in the way he knew you hated. "plus, i think that's a little too fancy for us."

"What, like those spa days Mettaton takes your brother on?" You asked, plucking the chisp he had just taken from the bag right out of his hand. "You still need to tell me all about that."

Almost as soon as you had mentioned Mettaton, you noticed Sans' expression sour. You preemptively poured yourself a glass of rosé for the oncoming rant you were watching build up in your boyfriend's mind. He let out a sigh.

"my bro's always been a big mettaton fan. he used to sit and watch static on the MTT channel because he thought it was still mettaton's show." Sans explained, reaching out and taking a swig of ketchup. You struggled to imagine it, a fuzzy image of Papyrus sitting in front of an old TV, totally enraptured by the channel static coming to mind. You didn't have a lot of experience with the tall skeleton, but it did seem like something he would do. "anyway. the two of them met right after the barrier fell. paps nearly passed out, he was so excited." He chuckled, and you smiled back at him.

"but yeah, they just really hit it off. then MTT had to go off on his world tour, and he was gone for at least a year." Sans said and you nodded.

"I remember his 'Return to Ebott' was right before I graduated. He sang 'I'm Coming Home' and everyone went wild." You recalled, then noticed the scandalized look on your boyfriend's face. "It landed on an important exam for Alphys, so she gave me the tickets! Don't give me that look."

Sans reluctantly let it slide, and you decided that you'd need to tear down the MTT poster you had in your office.

"as i was saying... paps saw him at one point, i think it was at one of frisk's 'family meet-ups', and they really just hit it off." He said, then sighed again. "they started dating maybe five months ago?"

"Woah, really?" You asked in-between a mouthful of Oreo's. You were kind of surprised. Even if you didn't really interact with either of them that much, they just seemed so... different? "I mean... that's good, right?"

Sans didn't respond. For a moment, he just sort of sat there with an unreadable expression, occasionally stopping to take a sip of ketchup. "its... well. i really don't know what to think of it."

"That's okay, babe." You said, scooching over slightly to be a bit closer to him. "You know Papyrus best, but there are still some things you don't know. Plenty of things to be surprised about. Even his taste in, uh... shiny robot men?"

Sans rolled his eyes a bit, but there was still a bit of tension in his expression. "its not that i'm surprised, i think." He said, frowning slightly. "its just that... i've taken care of him for so long. i've been his big bro for as long as i can remember. i just..."

He trailed off, but you could kinda see where he was going.

"Hey, its completely normal to be afraid of a little change, especially when its something like this." You said, squeezing his hand under yours. "You've taken such good care of your brother, and he's become probably the coolest guy I know. Maybe a close second to a certain someone." You said, and felt a wave of relief wash over you when he let out a small chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is that he's an adult now, and he's gonna be making his own choices. Maybe even some you don't like all that much."

"yeah." Sans continued. "but i just gotta respect 'em."

"See? You're a natural with all this mushy stuff." You grinned, leaning back into the couch a bit.

"eh, i think i just needed to hear it from another perspective." Sans replied, leaning in and pressing a little kiss on your lips, careful to avoid any of the mask. "thanks, babe."

"Anytime." You said, still smiling. "Besides, I still think this amazing spa day played a key role in this heartfelt chat."

"you keep telling yourself that, babe."

"Oh, so you're honestly telling me you didn't enjoy all of this?" You asked, crossing your arms defensively. Sans stopped to think, looking around at all the clutter the two of you had made around the living room before he turned back to you and let out a defeated sigh.

"fine, you win." He said, slumping back into a soft pillow. "this rules."

"Aha! My master plan was a success!"


End file.
